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IELTS Essay Correction: Benefits and Drawbacks of Globalisation.

Most people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial. To what extent is Globalization a positive or negative development?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

It is universally accepted that we all belong to a global village. Due to globalisation geographical distances and cultural gaps narrow and opens open various ways to meet  people and improve trade worldwide. Some, however, differ and claim that dire consequences of globalisation ranging from ………… are inevitable ranging from high level of pollution to the threat to the local economy(the introduction adequately mentions both benefits and drawbacks.)

Undoubtedly, globalization has brought a great amount of change in the societies by bridging the gap of east and west continents. To elaborate, a longing to expand businesses makes individuals connect with people of different walks of life, and opens doors to trade worldwide. It not only boosts economies of countries but also increases the money circulation, which ultimately decreases the gap of between poor and rich. Similarly, due to exposure and easy access to other countries, tourism industry has risen (expanded) 600 percent over the last ten years, thus . Thus cultural, religious and language barriers have diminished. From Switzerland’s Swiss alps to the dense forests of Amazon, tourists brim (brim = top level of an empty vessel; filled to the brim) people travel widely and help in generating revenue for the governments.

However, picture is not as bright as it appears. Due to globalisation, many countries such as China, launches produce and export less expensive goods into to different countries  and create a threat to their local economy. This is because, people prefer buying products that are reasonably cheap in price; especially developing countries, where people live under poverty line and go for low cost goods This is because people, especially those from developing countries and those who are poor, prefer buying products that are relatively cheap. Consequently, this practice drastically damages their small-scale businesses and they are on the verge of shutting down their small industries (they refers to developing countries. How can countries shut down businesses? …… and their businessmen/ entrepreneurs are on the verge of shutting down non-viable units.). Tourism, on the other hand (I can’t see a contrast that necessitates the use of on the other hand), is one of the biggest reasons to increase behind rapidly increasing pollution. Unusual tourist destinations such as Antarctica and Sahara are quite famous among explorers. They want to touch each and every corner of the earth, which has threatened the survival/ existance of flora and fauna dramatically.

To recapitulate, although globalisation has tremendous benefits that has have brought two different cultures together by trading and tourism, converse affects effects, which damage …………… , can not be ignored which damage local economies as well as environment by excess tourism.

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