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IELTS Essay Correction: Spend Money on Social Issues Rather Than on Protecting Animals.

Both government and individuals are spending a large amount of money for protecting animals and their habitat. This money should be better spent dealing with fundamental issues in society such as poverty and health care. To what extent do you agree?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.


There is no doubt that, animals are illegally being hunted for foods food (plural of food is food since it is an uncountable noun.) and decorative purposes in many parts of the world, and to protect them from hunters, governments spend huge sums of money. Eventhough I largely agree that governments should prioritise this money to solve the issues of humans such as poverty and health care, I believe that the state has the  responsibility to protect animal species to a certain extent.

Admittedly, the primary responsibility of every government is to fullfill the fundamental rights of its citizens such as food, cloth, health care (Connect such as with fundamental rights. Moreover, food is not a fundamental right, … is to fulfil the fundamental rights such as right to healthy food of its citizens.). There are many people in our country who are deprived of food and unable to access the quality health care. Furthermore ,unfortunately, poverty and health care is are closely interconnected. This is because, when a member from a destitute family will become gets (use simple present tense) injured or ill, the entire household will ultimately ends up with low income and high health care costs. For instance, the WHO’s World Health Organisation’s statistics in the last year showed that the infant mortality rate and nutritional deficiency disease was higher in low income families than in affluent ones. That is why, many people favour that government should allocate its budget to give preference to mitigate the social evils such as poverty and famine rather than protection of animals.

In addition to alleviate alleviating this these social issues, I believe that governments have the responsibility to protect its flora and fauna along with their natural habitat. To elaborate, we are unaware that a vast number of animal and plant species are dwindling in number due to poaching and human encroachment (be specific and leave no vagueness) other reasons. Consequently, they are at the verge of extinction, and thus leading (are THEY leading to loss of biodiversity. Use a word that refers to “the verge of extinction”) this leads to loss of biodiversity which is essential for healthy and functional ecosystem. Moreover, these plant and animal species are vitally important to prevent epidemics and to protect the public from diseases. For example, a lot of vaccines are derived from the chemicals produced by animals. Therefore, wildlife conservation programmes and management of financial resource for animal protections also need attention.

In conclusion, it is believed by some that animal protection campaigns and programmes are given wide preferences by authorities. Despite I widely strongly believe that a government should bestow more importance to the health and poverty of its citizens, however governments practices to protect the endangered species should not be underrated.

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