IELTS Essay Correction: Several Languages Die Out and Saving Them is Not Important – 3.

language IELTS PTE

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are few languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Please go through answer corrections of three more students: Student 1; Student 2; Student 3.

Answer:

In this rapidly globalizing world, languages spoken by minority minorities (OR: A language spoken by A minority is ……) are forced to face extinctions extinction (plural of extinction is extinction.) because of gigantic impact of globalization in which people who can use particular languages such as English, French, and Spanish have much more opportunity opportunities to get a job. While some people think that people can communicate more easily without translation if there are few languages all over the world, I definitely cannot admit this optimistic or self-centered view (no need to write a long clause. Moreover, optimistic = positive; self-centered = selfish. I can’t see any of the traits in the opinion above.) strongly disagree not only because language is a rich devise device (noun device = an object; verb devise = plan) to keep its user’s collective memory, feeling and culture but also because multiplicity of languages gives us inspiration and creates favorable perspectives as well (and = as well. Do not repeat.)Important: The introduction structure is fine. However, you make mistakes in word usage which will reduce your Lexical Resource score.

These days, minor languages tend to be disrespected and forgot (Parallelism issue. Maintain parallelism before and after AND. While be disrespectful is passive voice, forgot is active. Rewrite: …. tend to be disrespected and forgotten as …….) as unimportant and non-useful languages (word repetition: languages) and many people prefer simple communication without misunderstanding and necessity for translation at business scenes. (Please note this sentence: The idea ends at …. non-useful languages. Thereafter, it is the explanation of the isea – “why they are unimportant and non-useful”. It is better to write two sentences OR use SINCE construction. Thesedays, minor languages tend to be disrespected and forgotten as unimportant and non-useful since people prefer simpler communication without the need for translation during global business events.)

In Japan, the needs need for having the skill of speaking English are is getting higher in a growing during the last few years (a need GROWS), while people do not pay attention to minority people and their languages. For instance, a language spoken by Ainu people, who are natives living in Hokkaido, the north part of Japan(this is a modifier – “who are ……. Japan”. Discuss with me if you’ve problem using a modifier.) are is (subject = a language) on the verge of extinction now because Japanese government has forced them to use only Japanese in schools until now (use until now only if the government has recently changed its policy. For instance: I was in dark until now. That is, I’m no longer in dark now.). Although this government’s plan seems to improve the language gap between Ainu people and the Japanese, it also causes the a crucial issue. According to the paper written by professor Kitazono at the university of Hokkaido, Ainu people who can not use their own language fluently are getting to forget forgetting their identity and history of Ainu.

Moreover, it is really beneficial for people to keep (maintain OR preserve) a variety of languages in the world. Language is not only a mean of communicating with others, but also an expression in itself. Therefore, people can get inspirational ideas and creative perspectives from learning a new language. In reality, Chinese character was mystic inspiration for Western-born writers especially in 1960s. (Please explain the idea adequately. Let me try to re-write albeit in a different sense. Moreover, it is really beneficial for people to preserve a variety of languages in the world. Language is not only a mean of communicating with others, but also an expression in itself. Scientific research has proved that humans can exress ideas and creativity in their mother tongue only. Moreover, all great political leaders used their mother tongue to bring social and political change. Thus, enforcing a foreign language on the minority people reduces their ability to express themselves.)

To recapitulate, I strongly disagree with the statement that people do not need for a variety of languages and I think people should pay attention for to (certain words come with certain fixed prepositions: Please pay attention to your work.) the issue that minor languages are now facing imminent extinction. Language is not just (not only) a tool for communication but also a memorable devise for its users. In addition, it could be the admirable inspiration for someone who learns it.

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