Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Government Financed Schools and Taxes.

“Families who do not send their children to government-financed schools should not to be required to pay taxes that support universal education. ”

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?  

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Some people maintains maintain that the taxes for supporting universal education should be paid only by those who has have children commuting to (commuting = traveling. This does not convey the idea clearly. Lexical Resource.) studying in government-financed schools. At first glance, this statement seems to be reasonable and equal for everyone, however, I disagree with it because supporting universal education is (not writing taxes in this sentence will prevent you from scoring high Task Response bands.) I believe that everyone should pay taxes for universal education because it is not only beneficial for the nation’s development in the future but also for those who need or will need circumstances for but can not afford education. (prefer though X, Y construction. Though this statement seems reasonable, I disagree with it because ……)

While some people believe that those who uses the non-government-financed school for their children do not need to pay taxies for the universal education, I think this is not fundamentally reasonable idea because of the reasons below. (You’ve clearly written this in the introduction. Please do not repeat it in the body paragraph again. You can start directly with —> First, universal education is not beneficial not only for children who actually go to public schools but also for everyone who pays taxes living in every citizen of the country. According to the survey conducted by a NGO in 2016, the huger higher the tax amount per a (per = a) child in the country was used for universal education, the higher the whole level of education each country has was. It means that the educational level of the country could be lower without abundant taxes for universal education, and it will cause a negative impact for on (certain words have certain prepositions attached: impact on) the country’s development in the future. (To maintain strong task response, please explain the benefits of universal education. Sample Paragraph: Firstly, universal education is beneficial not only for children who actually go to public school but also for every citizen of the country. Education offers tools to children from poor sections of society to earn a respectable livelihood. These opportunities help a society become stable and peaceful. For instance, a report by United Nations revealed that most developed societies are those in which all school children have equal opportunities to develop their potential irrespective of their parent’s financial worth. These societies are more stable than others.)

Moreover, from a perspective of equality, I believe that every family should pay for taxes for universal education. Clearly, there are a lot of people in every country who cannot afford to pay for basic education in every country (if you don’t understand the change of placement, please let me know and we’ll discuss.). And government should give enough circumstances for to (give X to Y) every child to study regardless of family financial situation. As for me, I could have continued studying thanks for the taxies for supporting universal education to date. Without this tax system, I would have quit(this is not Past tense. You’re imagining something might have happened in the past. Use WOULD HAVE) quitted my learning because of the family financial problem. For instance, I could not have continued my higher education without Japanese government’s program for Universal Education since I belong to a relatively less affluent family. Without the taxes for universal education, I would have quit my studies long ago.

Note: Though quitted is not wrong, quit is more in fashion these days as past participle of quite. Both would have quit and would have quitted are fine.

To conclude, I strongly disagree with the statement that governments should not quit to force those who has have no children commuting government-financed schools pay taxies for supporting universal education. It is really worth keeping supporting for universal education because of two magnanimous effects: keeping maintaining or developing the level of education in whole the whole nation, and giving equal circumstances of education for to every child.

Follow this blog for more such exciting IELTS and PTE essays and like our Facebook Page. Let’s crack English language exams. You can contact us here.

Please subscribe to my Youtube Channel.

Apply for Canada Student Visa!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s