Answer Checking

IELTS Task 1, Academic Correction: Online Shopping Sales for Retail Sector New Zealand.

The pie-charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting main features and make comparisons where relevant.

online sales New Zealand IELTSOnline Sales New Zealand IELTS 1

150 words, 20 minutes.

Answer:

The pie charts clearly depict the percentage changes in sales in percentage, through online shopping, (no comma here) in four retail sectors in New Zealand during the years 2003 and 2013. (The introductory sentence adequately covers the given facts. Good job!)

Overall, the online sale was highest for the travel industry and lowest for the books in 2003. However in 2013, the films and music industry registered the highest percentage online sale, while clothes recorded the lowest sale through online medium. (Overall statement is well written with proper cohesion.)

During the year 2003, the highest percentage sale through online shopping was accounted for by the travel industry, which was 36 percent of the total online sale. In comparison to this, it constituted less than one third of total online purchases in 2013. (The idea of highest has already been mentioned above.) The share of travel industry in online sales was 36 percent in 2003 and it dropped by 7 percent during the next decade. However, (I can’t see a contrast.) The cloth industry contributed less than a quarter of the total online sales in 2003, and, it’s its percentage sale fell to 16 percent in 2013. On the other hand, the percentage sales of films and music increased from 21 percent in 2003 to 33 percent in 2013. Furthermore, the sale percentage of books also increased from 19 percent in 2003 to 22 percent in 2013. (Furthermore, the sale percentage of books increased by 3 percent during the given period.)

Good job in making inter-group and intra-group comparisons. You can write sentences to present variety of language.

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