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IELTS Essay Correction: Some Sports Are Extremely Dangerous But Many People Like Them.

Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

No doubt, everything in the life has two sides, the good and the bad. Sports are just another example. In some cases, it can be life threatening, but still, a lot of people find it very enjoyable. I guess the pleasure of thrill outweighs overcome the dangers, especially if it (what does IT refer to?) is assessed and controlled.

Dangerous games are sometimes very alluring and have a large amount of prize. People like to watch (the question is about participating in dangerous sports. Not watching.) thrilling sports and those sort of these games are often taken as a challenge. Those These are the main reasons people participate in dangerous games even after knowing the consequences. (The idea is not adequately explained. Please write an example. For instance, many youngsters prefer sports like bungee jumping and mountain climbing. A recent survey has reported that though these people get a sense of achievement, about 5 percent of participants lose their life and another 7 percent suffer from a life long injury due to these sports.)

To contol such threats, standardisation must take place to put some guiding rules to decide whether a person is fit or not to practice a sport of danger nature. Also to highlight Moreover, strict regulations should be imposed to control environmental conditions needed to practice it safely to both practitioner and spectators. For instance, in rally racing, cars have to be inspected very carefully for mechanical failures by a highly qualified teams team prior and during the laps, (there is no connecting device between the two clauses. Improve cohesion.) a very close monitoring for of the roads to avoid any obstacles that may cause harm or damage. Moreover, car itself , from the design point of view, (a modifier) has to be safe to for the driver against potential accidents that may contain front or side hits and in most cases extreme flips or fire.

Furthermore, some water sports requires require high level of expertise. For example, diving is a very enjoyable experience but it is dangerous and needs good prepration. Extensive training should take place in a simulated environment like swimming pool, before actual diving into deep water, . Moreover, equipment has to be tested, brief knowledge of the location prior to the dive (incomplete idea) and ways of communication during diving (incomplete idea)(this sentence lacks parallelism.)

Moreover, a person should test (v) the equipment, gather (v) proper knowledge of the location and find (v) ways of communication before embarking on such events.

In conclusion, it is safe to practice any sport you like with enough planning and adequate training, no matter how dangerous it is, . you just have to However, a person should measure the risks and get over it (what does IT refer to?) with gradual skill improvements.

A number of areas need to be worked. Please write a balanced answer that answers all sections of the question adequately (body paragraph 1 is too short). A number of grammar mistakes such as wrong punctuation marks, misplaced pronouns, subject-verb agreement.

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