Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: An Increasing Number of People Choose to Live in Big Cities.

An increasing number of people choose to live in big cities. What problems will this bring about? Should the government encourage people to live in small towns?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Nowadays, a lot of people prefer living in large cities than before in rural areas (You sentence seems to compare cities with before. Alternately: More than ever before. a lot of people prefer living in large cities nowadays.) This will have drawbacks like such as increase in pollution hazards and should be prevented by governments. (Please write the points you wish to discuss in body paragraphs clearly.)

Overcrowding in big cities results in an incline increase in pollution levels rates. More people that were settled settle there will (the previous sentence is in the present tense – results. Please maintain the same tense.) use more cars, buses and other transportation methods which will leads to increase in hazardous fumes that will be are emitted in air especially during rush hours where when (when represents the time correctly) traffic congestion is the highest most. Moreover, green areas will be are replaced by buildings to accommodate the rising population rates which will have has a negative sequalae consequence on the environmental health inside the city. For instance, Cairo have has deteriorated regarding due to pollution increase and green zones decline that it was in as compared to 1930s because of jumping a jump in numbers of resettled people. (The ideas are adequately mentioned and explained. The example is also well constructed. Some tense and grammar issues.)

I think the government have has to (should) convince citizens to resettle in small towns for two reasons. Firstly, this will decrease the burden on the infrastructure of the cities as the population will be redistributed on other areas of the country which will decrease in usage the use of facilities such as water or and electricity. Secondly, small cities will rejuvenate because more people will live there so the work power output (production) and commerce will increase. To clarify, more people will need to run their own businesses like small projects, so (be more specific than projectssuch as trading and manufacturing and this will revitalize the area. For example, many people start to live in Al-Zaqaziq city which make it more vibrant and commercial(The example is not as elaborate as it should be. A reader should see the complete essay context in the example: For example, the Egyptian government is motivating people to settle down in Al-Zaqaziq city and this has both reduced pressures of Cairo’s infrastructure and revitalised Al-Zaqaziq’s business.)

To conclude, settlement in megacities carries significant problems such as pollution which is uprising rapidly. Consequently, governmental encouragement for living in small cities plays a vital rule in flourishing these cities and increasing trades there.

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