Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: More Beneficial to Play Team Sports.

Some people think that it is more beneficial to play sports that are played in teams, example football. However, some people think that it is more beneficial to play individual sports, example tennis. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Please go through similar answer by another student.


There has been an ongoing debate concerning whether group sports or individual sports are the best are better than individual sports (Correct comparison structure: Whether X is better than Y). While some people believe that team sports are more advantageous, because which they foster communication skills, others feel that single player sports are producing yield/ produce better results, (no comma here) since players learn how to be confident in difficult situations (The idea is not clear. Do you mean that players in team sports are not confident?). In my opinion, sports which can be played individually is are more beneficial.

(Though you’ve made an excellent attempt at MENTIONING reasons supporting each view, you need to write ideas more clearly. Some grammar and sentence structuring issues.) Note that the difference between both types of sports is that of cooperation and competition.

Sports that need teamwork and cooperation of other players that can be played with more players (even individual sports are played with other players) enhance communication skills. While playing as a team, each in each team member has to interact with one another in order to achieve their common the team’s goal. Take football, for example, in which For example, in Football all players have to communicate with one another to pass the football from one place to another until it reaches into the opponent’s goal post (The example could have been better structured as: For example, playing football requires close coordination of goalkeeper, defenders, mid-fielders and forward players so that the team’s goals can be achieved. Similarly, playing cricket requires coordination of batsmen, bowlers, fielders and wicketkeepers.). Such type of verbal communication would definitely helps participants to extend their communication gain confidence and they do not feel any shyness or hesitation while they socialize with the public. (The explanation of idea can be expressed more clearly. If there is ambiguity in ideas, you will lose the bands.)

Some opponents, however, stand with single player sports, (Please write plain and simple so that your words clearly express your thoughts. Opponents? whose opponents?) On the other hand, some people prefer individual sports because they argue that such sports items could be (could is the past form of can) are helpful for players in increasing their confidence (Do team sports not increase confidence? Write a benefit that distinguishes individual sports from team sports.). When a player being in a single sport, like swimming, he or she has to develop the confidence to compete with the opposite player and to obtain victory. For instance, according to sports council in India, students who enroll in sports such as tennis or badminton, which require one player, are more likely to maximize confidence level.

Sample Paragraph: On the other hand, some people prefer individual sports since they make a player more competitive. Unlike team sports, individual sports do not require cooperation but competition which makes an individual fiercely independent. Moreover, the players of individual sports get the entire credit for winning a game. Such achievements often translate to huge monetary gains for these players. For instance, a recent survey of players of different games revealed that the salary and incentives of a top tennis player are at least 50 percent more than the average of a winning cricket team.

To conclude, many people support group sports, because they think that players could elaborate their interaction skills. Nevertheless, I agree with think that singles player sports are more rewarding/ beneficial, since from which these one can improve confidence level – the most important factor for a competition.

Lack of clarity of ideas. Please brainstorm for about 10 minutes before writing the answer.

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