Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: People Live in Large Apartment Blocks.

In many cities today, most people live in large apartment blocks. Does this kind of accomodation have more advantages than disadvantages?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.


It is certainly true that in many cities, a large number of people dwell in flats. The benefits of this are convenience and safety since they are more convenient and safer than traditional individual houses (Write both simple sentences as a single compound sentence.). However, the negatives, (no comma here) such as lack of privacy and inability to keep pets should not be forgotten. This essay discusses how pros outweigh cons. (The question does not ask for prospects and constraints. It is an OPINION essay. I think apartments have equal number of advantages and disadvantages.)

Apartments provide residents with safety of life and property. Most of these buildings have a secure fencing system and security guards, which deter thieves and burglars from entering the compound, resulting in a less chance of theft and burglary (Idea 1 could be made more clear by writing it more specifically. Explanation is adequately written in 1 sentence). In addition to the safety Additionally/ Moreover, such type of living offers tremendous convenience to residents, because they can enjoy all urban facilities within a reach a reasonable distance since most apartment buildings are more likely to be in city’s vicinity (You’ve mixes the IDEA and EXPLANATION in the same sentence. EXPLANATION: Most of the daily necessities such as a jogging park, swimming pool, convenience store, and school are developed in the vicinity of the living area.). For example, if a person living in apartments (maintain proper context by using the word apartment.) wants to purchase some household items, he does not want to have have to travel far a long journey from his house to collect them, as opposed to countryside people(Idea 2 could have been better mentioned and explained.)

There are, nevertheless, some downsides, which must be considered. Firstly, apartment life affects one’s privacy. Buildings are often congested in order to maximize the number of housings, which in fact create numerous immediate neighbours, contributing to breach of privacy at risk (Idea 1 and explanation 1 are clear and concise.). Secondly, resident of flats cannot keep pets. Some people, especially the elderly, consider pet animals as their emotional support in their loneliness, for those and for them such type of living would be is harder. For instance, the housing authority of Bengaluru city in India, have has strictly banned pets in apartments due to security reasons. As such Consequently, many retirees in Bengaluru who live in large flats cannot keep pet animals. (Idea, explanation and example are nicely written. A few improvement areas.)

In conclusion, although a large residential accommodation, although brings out cause a few problems for residents, it enables them to experience the convenience and safety (Although X, Y construction). The merits of this type of living outweigh the demerits (Should have written this at the beginning of the essay and then write more advantages than disadvantages.).

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