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IELTS Essay Correction: Regions Affect a Successful Person.

Many people think that regions affect a successful person. What is your opinion about native regions and accomplished person’s influence on the region he belongs to?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Please go through the SAMPLE ANSWER.


One of the most controversial (Who says this is controversial?) issues today relates to whether regions affect a successful person. Some people believe that naïve (regions can’t be NAIVE.) regions have an a strong/ deep (collocation) influence on the success of a person while others claim the opposite. In this essay, I am going to examine this question from both points of view and then give my own perspective on the issue (The question is NOT “discuss both views and give your opinion.” Please write your opinion only.).

Please go through the introduction written in the sample answer. (click on the link above)

On one side of the argument there are a number of reasons in favour of the above notion (“there are …… notion.” clearly means “on one hand”). The most important one is the main aspect of our environment (This sentence should have clearly expressed the idea without any scope for vagueness. What do you mean by “aspect of environment”?). In other words (This is an explanation of the idea written in the previous sentence. No need to write “in other words”.), Firstly, success largely depends on the human as well as material resources available in a region (IDEA without any ambiguity. In following sentences EXPLAIN this). Our success is influenced the people we are surrounded by with and the facilities available to us. For example, a student going to a convent school in a city has far better chance of being successful in life than a student growing up in a village. Needless to say, all these merits have far reaching benefits.

(You are not supposed to discuss this since the question asks for your opinion only.) On the other hand, it is also possible to make the opposing case (No need to write this sentence. Please begin with your ideas using a CONNECTING DEVICE. SAMPLE: Though a region plays a significant role in success, there are other factors that are equally important.). In fact there are some strong arguments against the above notion like the belief that Prefessional success depends solely on the efforts that an individual puts in of an individual to achieve his goals. This is because success cannot be achieved without hard work and dedication. For example, children in the third world countries gain most of their knowledge from books and writings. Hence, it is apparent why many are not in favour of regions affecting a successful person(The example is not strongly related to the idea. Sample: For example, a number of famous individuals such as Narendra Modi, the Indian Prime Minister, and Richard Branson, founder of Virgin Group, have succeeded despite lack of financial and human resources support from the regions they were born in. They succeded due to extraordinary hard work, grit and determination.)

Also, the success of a person from the native regions motivates the others around him to follow in his footsteps and scale heights (This is not related to the question. Task response.). As it is has been seen, there are no easy answers to this question (No need to write statements that do not make any meaningful contribution in explaining the question.). However, in the light of the aforementioned arguments, one can conclude that the importance of regions affecting successful persons cannot be outweighed by the efforts and persistence of an individual.

This essay primarily suffers from poor task response.

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3 replies »

  1. The question nowhere states that there is a controversy on this topic. There is no mention of a dispute or contention. People may or may not hold an opinion. However, this is not necessarily controversial.


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