Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Senior Management Professionals Have Higher Salaries – 1.

Some people think that it is a good for senior management professionals to have higher salaries as compared with other workers of the same company. To what extent do you agree?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Please go through another answer correction HERE.

Many people believe that senior managers have to must/ should be paid a large amount of remuneration in comparison with the other employees of the same institution. I think it is reasonable because they play a decisive role to make daily progress and work irregular hours apart from their normal working period. (I’m sure other workers also make daily progress and work during odd hours.)

I think this is reasonable since senior management is responsible for smooth operations and profits of a company, and the buck stops at its table. (Other employees are not responsible and the buck does not stop at their table.)

Senior managers implement various strategies in order to elaborate increase/ enhance (wrong word choice – Lexical Resource score falls) a company’s profit margin. Admittedly, they use their profound knowledge and skills, which they acquired acquire (keep this in Simple Present Tense) from constant long (Experience can’t be constant. Wrong word choice.) experience and diverse contacts (parallelism – If there is an adjective with experience, there must be one with contacts as well.), to improve an organisation’s overall operations. (I’m sure other workers also have experience and skills.)

Additionally, they frequently conduct surveys and interviews with other workers in order to evaluate the progress, which enables them to take proper actions to lift the company. (Please mention whether this justifies higher salary.) For example, in many companies, senior management staff execute(staff = singular noun) a number of efficient actions, which indeed lead a company to higher growth trajectory be developed. Thus, providing a high pay is fair and sensible.

Moreover, apart from their sincere contribution, they work dawn to dusk in order for carrying out to carryout (incorrect preposition) their duties accountabilities. Senior managers are often overwhelmed by cumbersome work and it demands a significant amount of time frame to be completed. Consequently, they have to work long hours, sacrifice daily communication with family and may experience enormous psychological stress. (well written. Good job!) For instance, many higher ranked staff members (staff = singular noun, many = plural.) of IT companies in Bengaluru in India work irregular hours under tremendous pressure, leaving and sacrifice all important family commitments and occasions. While considering their invaluable service, managements companies should paid pay a decent salary to senior management positioned employees, so that they can utilise money to stimulate themselves. (Idea, explanation and example are closely related to the topic. Despite grammar mistakes and a few vocabulary issues, the paragraph is well written. Task response and cohesion – along with logical progression of ideas – are good.)

In conclusion, in my opinion, people working in top management position should be given high salaries since they make extreme efforts (for what?) to make a company profitable by using their know-how and skills and work abnormal hours to prosper a company.

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