Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Include Employees in Decision Making.

Company’s top level authorities should include their employees in decision making process. Discuss.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Due to the ever-increasing competition in the corporate world, it has become more than necessary to come up with new and inventive innovative ideas to get a step ahead of the others. For this, the companies’ top level authorities have to ensure that they exploit (utilize) all the bright minds in their organisations by including them (they, their, them should refer to the same noun. While they and their refer to authoritiesthem refers to all the bright minds.) employees in the decision making process. I believe that this will have numerous positive outcomes both for the companies as well as for their employees.

(A well written introduction. Closely related to the question. Correct grammar use.)

First of all, it is always better to have a number of options or ideas during decision making. In other words, by including employees from different departments and various hierarchical levels (employees are usually at a lower level in hierarchy) in the decision making process, the managers can have access to the ideas that they couldn’t even think of. For example, an employee from a different country can share insights about the business practices of prevailing in the international market (The example can be written more specifically to explain the idea in a detailed manner.). Hence, it can be advantageous for the companies. (The IDEA is well constructed and clearly stated. The explanation is also fine. However, it could have been written more specifically. If explanation is written without any scope for vagueness or interpretation, the band score graduates from 7 to 8. Sample: For instance, in a steel manufacturing unit, employees who directly engage in working of a furnace are more aware of the productivity issues of the furnace than senior management. Similarly, those who drive vehicles in a logistics company have a better idea of problems than the owners.)

Furthermore, it will create a sense of belongingness among the employees (IDEA clearly stated). This is because they will feel that their voices are being heard and this will motivate them to put in their best efforts for the achievement of the company’s goals. For example, employees will be more inclined towards following the instructions of the process in which they had a say. (This is not an example. An example has DATA, FACTS: For example, a Harvard study has revealed that the companies that empower employees to contribute in decision making have the most motivated and productive employees. These companies include brands such as Apple, Starbucks and Tata which are the most profitable companies in the world.) Therefore, it will bring more benefits for the companies(MORE BENEFITS is a vague term. Specific benefits are written in the example I’ve constructed.)

To recapitulate, including employees in the a company’s decision making process can be beneficial for companies as it will improve its competitiveness in the market. I believe that managers should be receptive towards the ideas of the employees and should include them in the decision making process.

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