Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Sleep and Rest are Best Methods to Relax – 1.

Some people think that rest and sleep are the best methods to relax while others think that it can be done by involving in some activities like sports. Do you agree or disagree and give your view?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Here is another student’s answer correction on the same topic.

Answer:

In today’s fast paced fast-paced (this is a compound word) world, people are under tremendous stress and relaxation plays an important role in total well-being of an individual. Many argue that sleeping and resting are the best ways to relax since it rejuvenates they rejuvinate our mind and improves improve physical and mental health whereas, others argue that getting involved in sports is a better way to de-stress as it not only improves your fitness but also make you makes a person feel more happier happy (happier includes more) and relaxed. In my opinion, a balance between sleep and sport activities are is needed to maintain a sound mind and body.

Undoubtedly, to deal with increasing stress, it is utmost (Both utmost and important are adjectives. The right combination is utmost importance.) important to repose or take a nap. After a long tiresome day at workplace, an individual might may not be in a state of doing anything and our his body and mind demands demand rest. After resting adequately or Sleeping for six to seven hours a day helps an individual to recharge for the next day and refreshes mind and repairs body. Moreover(comma here) ample sleep is essential for learning and for effective cognitive processes. For example, a study done by Harvard Psychologist in 2015 revealed that 40% percent of people who were diagnosed with depression or anxiety were more likely to sleep less than five hours a day and around 28 percent were having had (suffered from) (use simple past tense. Not past continuous.) cognitive impairment.

On the other hand, engaging in various sports activities will also help as to keep relaxed and fit. Whether you are playing sports, working out at a gym, or taking a brisk walk(comma here) physical activity triggers brain chemicals that make you feel happier and relaxed. In particular, team sports provide a chance to unwind and engage in a challenge that improves fitness and offers social benefit benefits such as connecting with team mates and friends(Oxford comma here) and it even improves they even improve concentration. For instance, a study done by an International Sport Scientist revealed that engaging in sports or exercises reduces the level of stress hormones in the body and it stimulates production of endorphins(comma here) which are natural mood lifters that can keep stress and depression at bay.

To conclude, to cope up with the day to day work related work-related (compound word) pressures and stress from society, a sufficient amount of rest and sleep is mandatory inevitable. However(comma here) sports also play a great role in controlling stress and can uplift ones one’s mood, so a healthy balance between sleep and sports activities are extremely important for a healthy mind and body.

Total Words = 387.

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