Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Dramatic Growth in the Number of People Studying at Universities.

There has been a dramatic growth in the number of people studying at universities in the last few decades. While some people see this as a positive trend which raises the general level of education within the community, others fear that it is lowering the quality of education.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of the increase in student numbers at university?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

(Sen 1) Education shapes a country’s future, and/ since (these two are different ideas. Please connect them with a connecting device. A comma is not sufficient) the more the educated people are, the better the society is. (Sen 2) World has witnessed a sea change in the literacy rate in the last few decades. (Sen 3) More and more people are going to the universities, inventing new techniques and technologies. (Sen 4) However, many alarm that as the degree holders’ numbers soar, education standards plummet. This essay will discuss both merits and demerits of the given this trend.

(The logical order of sentences in 2 – 3 – 1 – 4)

Education plays a pivotal role in any country’s success (You’ve written this in the introduction as well, albeit in different words.). University education lifts literacy rate (Please understand the definition of literacy rate. It is more related to the ability to read, write and speak basic sentences.) imparts technical/ professional skills which mitigate many evils of the society ranging from unemployment to financial hardships and many more. Not only the university study teaches hard skills educates students, but it also it inculcates other important soft skills in them such as teamwork, problem-solving skills, communication and financial skills. These skills are extremely beneficial for a student to get a good fair-pay job and become a good responsible citizen (the meaning of good is not clear). Moreover, higher education gives birth to many inventions and new technologies because university students learn in depth (The idea could have been better expressed as: because university students have an atmosphere of right teachers, technical instruments, and adequate finance.). For example, Western Sydney University’s students developed a solar-operated car which will help to reduce CO2 carbon dioxide emissions and opens open other ventures as well. (You write well. However, you need better words to express your ideas. Lexical resource issues prevent you from expressing your ideas in a better way.)

Despite having countless benefits of higher education, one cannot gives give a nelson’s eye to its drawbacks. Many studies prove that higher number of students in the universities are somewhere responsible of for decreasing education standards as universities cannot cope up with the demand. Therefore, resulting The universities have limited human, financial, and technical resources and this results lower level of education (This sentence made little sense as explained in the video.). In addition, each year thousands of students are graduating from the universities which elevates the unemployment rate (The two points are not clearly linked. Please do not jump to conclusions. In addition, since more number of students are graduating from each year and the number of white collar jobs are limited, the economy suffers from unemployment in office jobs and massive demand for blue-collar workers.). This brings results in crime and mental illnesses as many jobless students cannot cope up with the pressure and walk to follow the wrong path.

After going through both sides, university education carries more weight than demerits because a student learns more than basic education from a university. He learns life skills which are essential for his growth and the future of his country.

Total Words = 310.

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