Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Many Museums Charge for Admission.

Many museums charge for admission while others are free.

Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

A museum is an institution that carefully preserves artifacts and other objects of national and public interest and, presents them to the public for the purpose of education and entertainment. (Excellent opening sentence!) Some museums have an entrance fee while some others do not charge anything. In my opinion, charging museums (Nobody is charging museums anything. Museums are charging the people.) reasonably imposing reasonable (moderate) charges can bring more benefits, as the income can be used for the development and the maintenance of museum, compared to any potential disadvantages since this income can be used for development and maintenance of the museums(do not present benefits as a modifier. Present them using SINCE construction.)

Undoubtedly, by marginally charging the admission to a museum can bring numerous advantages. Firstly, the collected money can be used for the successful operation and maintenance of a museum (Idea clearly stated). Most museums are funded by government and are not adequately maintained and did do (change of tenses) not have adequate facilities (Alternative structure of sentence to avoid the use of second AND: Most museums funded by the government are not only inadequately maintained but also lack numerous facilities) since the government cannot alone fund thousands of museums across the country. So, the admission fees charged can be a stable source of income and can cover utility bills, repairing cost, renovation and staff salary (The idea is thoroughly explained).

Secondly, it paying user fees (there is no noun to which IT refers) makes people to understand the value of museums which is are a house of knowledge (Though the idea is excellent, in absence of a clear SUBJECT it lacks clear meaning.). Anything that is given free are is (anything = singular; please use a singular auxiliary verb) not valued by people and if the entrance is free, a lot of people who have no interest in museums will enter these institutions who have no interest in museums for just enjoying the leisure time and can create disturbance for others. (Idea well explained) Therefore, by charging people, they (wrong pronoun. The subject seems to be museums, while they seems to refer to the people.) will value the time spent in museums and visitors use the available facilities to the maximum (Rephrase your idea using an IF, THEN clause: Therefore, if museums charge an entry fees, people will value the time spent there and act responsibly while using facilities.). For example, an article that was recently published by in The Hindu revealed that during the past three years around seven museums were closed out and almost twelve museums under the Indian government which offered a free entry is were under on the verge of shutting down due to lack of funds. (The example is not linked to the IDEA.)

Despite these advantages, a major disadvantage of an entrance fee is the possibility of reduction in the number of visitors (Idea clearly stated). Museums are of great educational and historical value and if the principal aim of these institutions is to impart knowledge and enjoyment then admissions should be free to the public and visitors (This sentence does not explain how user fees will reduce the number of visitors. Poor explanation.). Furthermore, charging an entrance fee restricts the people of low-income group who who earn low income and struggle to meet their basic needs from visiting museums (wrong placement of WHO). For instance, in 2017 there was a dramatic fall in the number of visitors people (word repetition: visit) who visited museums for free entertainment, after announcing the government announced rupees fifty per ticket at the National museum in India.

To conclude, although admission charges reduce the number of visitors, these funds can be used for the smooth functioning and reduce the number of wanderers which who disrupts disrupt the peace inside a museum.

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