Answer Checking

IELTS Task 1 Academic Correction: Imprisonment in Five Countries.

The table below shows figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

Imprisonment in five countries IELTS.jpg

Please go through the Sample Answer as well.

Answer:

The bar chart provides information about the number of people in thousands, who were put in jail (behind bars) in Great Britain, Australia, New Zealand, United States and Canada from 1930 to 1980.

Overall, the imprisonment rates (these are not rates.) in Great Britain and the United States (The data fluctuates in the United States. Read data carefully.) experienced an upward trend while rates of Australia, New Zealand and Canada showed a downward trend (I differ!) throughout the time period. All the countries had some fluctuations in the rates except Great Britain, which followed a constant constantly increasing trend over the time.

Use the overall paragraph to express major trends and to make INTER-GROUP comparisons: Overall, while the number of imprisoned people increased throughout the period for Great Britain, it fluctuated for all other countries. The least incarceration numbers were in Great Britain from 1930 to 1960, and in Australia in 1980. Canada had the distinction of highest imprisonments in 1930 and 1950, and the United States had the most people jailed in 1940, 1960, 1970 and 1980.

The imprisonment cases in Great Britain were about 30 thousand in 1930 and the figure remained almost the same in the following decade. Then, it expanded slightly by about 12 thousand in 1950 and continued to surge modestly in next three decades, ending and ended at about 80 thousand in 1980. The figure in the United States started at was around 100 thousand in 1930. It and it rose suddenly by 30 thousand in 1940. However, it experienced a consistent moderate decline in next three decades (I can’t see the decline in 1960.) before hitting rising sharply to (mention the “Main Feature”) the largest value of about 140 thousand in 1980.

Canada’s figure began at 120 thousand in 1930 followed by a marginal drop of about 10 thousand in 1940. After that, it followed a slight rising pattern of about 10 thousand in next two decades (data misread.) before experienced a dramatic drop of about 30 thousand in 1970 and became plateaued (there is no plateau.) at it till 1980.

I can’t see Australia and New Zealand. The answer is incomplete without these two.

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1 reply »

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