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IELTS Essay Correction: International Sporting Events are Beneficial to a Country.

Many people believe that international sporting events are beneficial to a country while others disagree.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

It is often considered that international sports tournaments are extremely important for a country’s growth, however, ; however, (. However) others think they are waste of time and funds. Although, holding such events demands huge amount of finances and a low economy a financially poor state can not afford it, a country can acquire a moderate global status and draws tourists’ attention from all around the globe due to these activities.

(It is better to MENTION the reasons supporting a view with that view. Some people consider international sports tournaments extremely important because they increase the country’s global status and attract tourists from all parts of the world. Others think this is a futile exercise since it involved huge financial investment that can be used for more productive activities.)

According to economists, to arrange international tournaments is an uphill task for a low budget a low or a middle income country. There are a number of factors involved which demand huge funding (try linking such as with the word it modifies: Huge financial investment is required in factors such as public arrangements,…..) such as public arrangements, security provision, media advertisements and streaming, non-stop electricity availability and prize money. All these expenses can combine to become an amount as huge as a developing country’s annual budget. The total expenditures of Cricket World Cup 2015, for instance, was about 10 billion dollars, an amount equal to GDP of many underdeveloped Africian countries (Was that cup held in an African country? What was the impact on the country in which it was held?). However, this essays believes (This paragraph is meant to discuss VIEW 1. Not your opinion.) that with proper management and mutual sharing of expenses among two or three countries, holding an international event would be feasible. (Rewrite the example. Sample: For instance, the Common Wealth Games of 2012, which were held in New Delhi, incurred an expense of more than 10 billion dollars for construction of the stadiums, transport infrastructure, and residences for international teams. Since then these buildings have been left vacant. This money could have been better utilised for uplifting millions of poor citizens of India.)

On the flip side, such events help in promoting a country’s culture and make making it a hub of tourism. It is a point of common observation that’s international visitors would not only get a chance to enjoy the event but also explore the country’s culture and experience native behaviour and local thinking about world (this seems to be too vague. Please either write it clearly or avoid it.). Such international spectators can take a home message of love, harmony and mutual respect which make the country to get international respect create a tourist friendly image of a country and attract people all around the globe to visit the country. For example, soon after the end of Olympics event, British Tourism Industry reported in 2012, that a sudden rise in percentage of tourist visitng London had been observed (Wrong sentence structure and wrong tense “had been”. The right placement of words helps you score 7+ bands.)For example, soon after the London Olympics of 2012, the British Tourism ministry reported a sudden rise in the number of international tourists visiting the United Kingdom.

In conclusion, no doubt that Undoubtedly, budget expertees experts suggest that organizing international events demands huge amount of sources, which may be an additional burden on a country’s economy(a comma needed) but it plays a vital role in shaping the positive image of a country in the world. Moreover, international tournaments in any country promote native culture and traditions, a main reason to generate money by which generate revenue as well as employment through enhanced tourist activity of tourism industry.

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