Answer Checking

IELTS Academic Task 1 Correction: Employment of Males and Females in 6 Countries.

The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005.

Summarise the information by choosing and describe the main idea, and make comparisons where appropriate.

Employment of males and females in 6 countries IELTS.jpeg

20 minutes, 150 words at least.

Answer:

The given bar chart depicts the data of employment rates of both genders in Australia, Switzerland, Iceland, UK, New Zealand and USA for the years 1995 and 2005.

Overall, the employment rate had dramatically increased for both genders over the decade but and (but is used to express contrast. There is no contrast here.) the employment rate among of men were was higher than that of women (employment rate among men was higher than among women) in all given six countries. Iceland offers offered the highest employment rate for males in 1995 and 2005 as opposed to (Employment rates for men and women are not opposite to each other.) Switzerland for females. (During both years Iceland had the highest employment rate for males and Switzerland had the highest for women.)

In 1995, Iceland with more than 70 percent had the highest employment rate of 70 percent for males which was closely followed by that of  Switzerland and New Zealand with around 65 and 60 percent respectively(The sentence is already too long. Alternate structure: In 1995, Iceland had the highest employment rate of 70 percent for men and it was followed by Switzerland, New Zealand, U.S.A, Australia and U.K.) while in other countries this rate was less than 60 percent. After a decade, the male employment percentage witnessed a significant rise among in all six countries and Iceland continues continued to have the largest employment rate opportunities (opportunity is not same as rate. Lexical Resource issue.) for males and all other countries except Australia reached over 70 percent employment rates.

On the contrary, (There is no contrast here.) in 1995, for females the majority of employment was provide by Switzerland with around 56 percent which was is followed by the UK with more than 50 percent (50 percent what?) and the least was provided by New Zealand with almost a quarter (a quarter what?) (Rephrase: In 1995, Switzerland had the highest employment rate of 56 percent for women and it was followed by the United Kingdom. New Zealand reported the least employment rate of 25 percent for women in this year.). However, in 2005 the female employment rate scailed scaled significantly among all six countries but (however = but) it was considerably less job opportunities than that of their male counterparts. In Switzerland employment rate increased by almost 12 percent followed by the USA and the UK with both having more than 60 percent (Can’t compare increase with total number.) while Australia accounted for the least employment opportunities rates for females.

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