Answer Checking

IELTS Task 1 Academic Correction: Underground Railway System – 4

The table below gives information about the underground railway system in six countries.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Please go to the sample answer HERE.

Answer:

The table compares the underground railway facility of six cities around the world in terms of their commencing year, route length (in km) and the number of people served (in millions).

Overall, London has the oldest and the longest underground railway system while the Tokyo‘s railway system supports the largest number of passengers has the busiest one among the listed cities(Busiest is not a perfect synonym.)

Getting back to details, underground railway service was started in London in 1863 which is 394 km (placing which next to 1863 means “1863 is 394 kilometers long”.) of which make it oldest and longest railway system but it serves only 775 million people, significantly lower than Paris and Tokyo. (This sentence is too complex as you’ve tried to squeeze too much information into it. Please follow the right paragraph structure to keep things more organized.) Among Tokyo, Paris and Washington D.C, although the Paris has oldest and longest route, but Tokyo ranks first in serving the highest number of commuters (Your sentence places completely unrelated things under the same umbrella. Route and number of commuters can’t be placed in the same sentence.). Tokyo which is giving services since 1927 is used by 1954 million passengers every year which is significantly higher than the figures of Paris and Washington D. C which serve 1911 and 144 million people respectively in a year.  (Though this sentence is better as it compares related things only, it is over-reliant on data and less on main features.)

Between Kyoto and Los Angeles, former is latest and shortest one (again two unrelated things.), 11km vs 28km, and was opened in 2001, precisely 20 years after Los Angeles,  served 45 million of people which (wrong placement of which. ) is almost same with the figure for Los Angeles.

Please go through the sample answer and the video to understand the right paragraph structuring.

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