Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Increasing Use of Computers and Mobile Phones has a Negative Impact on Young People.

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Technological advancements such as computers and smartphones have undoubtedly changed the way we communicate. While some believe that such these (referencing word that increases cohesion) equipments have adverse consequences on the reading and writing skills of youngsters, I opine that there are both pros and cons of their usage, which (which exemplifies the word it is linked to. Here it does not exemplify pros and cons but usage) entirely depend upon the way they are used.

(Since this is a “to what extent do you agree or disagree?” question, you need not state other people’s opinion. Give your views along with the reasons supporting them.)

On one hand, I agree that modern devices are partly responsible for the poor performance of young people in reading and writing of young people (wrong object placement). These devices are equipped with auto correct tools for grammatical grammar and spelling errors (parallelism mistake. grammar and spelling are nouns. grammatical is an adjective.), eclipsing the writer’s poor command over a language. It is evidenced in computer software products softwares (the plural of software is software.) such as Microsoft Word that largely omit errors (they do not omit errors. They auto-correct them.) on in such domains. Besides, online reading programmes have lessened the need of going through any material as they are capable of doing this without any significant errors (The idea is not clearly stated and no arguments presented to discuss it.).

(Rephrase point 1: These devices are equipped with inbuilt grammar and dictionary that auto-correct any grammar and spelling mistakes. This prevents youngsters from developing a proper written communication style. For instance, software products such as Microsoft Word and Apple Pages have an intelligent dictionary that even suggests the next word. This hampers the thinking ability of a student.)

(Point 2 – Reading: Moreover, overuse of computes adversely impacts the reading ability of children since they never use a formal language for communication. They develop a habit of reading an informal language that contains short-forms of formal words in Whatsapp and Facebook, and this prevents strong reading and writing skills.)

In contrast, the judicious use of electronic these pieces of equipment has helped people to sharpen their skills in different fields of language. The use of computers to write blogs is a good example of showing how such devices can be used in a constructive manner to express thoughts and feelings. Various studies have proved that students who use computers to write an online journal (diary) have superior linguistic skills as compared to their classmates. (develop the argument)

In addition, easily accessible digital dictionaries that can be installed in smartphones and laptops not only help learn the meaning of words, but also assist in their correct usage pronunciation. For example, while writing a professional letter and formal correspondence, I frequently use dictionary.com to consult uses of different words. This has made my reading and writing much stronger than my colleagues. (develop the argument) Thus, when used with the intent of learning, these devices could be of great assistance.

NOTE: It is inappropriate to say that the use of computers leads to problems as well as benefits in language development. Please build a case between “overuse” and “judicious use”.

In conclusion, the use of computers and smart phones can help improve or lose writing and reading skills, depending upon the way they are used while the judicious use of computers and smartphones can help in the development of linguistic skills, an overuse of these devices can lead to a serious deterioration of reading and writing skills(Use a variety of words to write a conclusion. This will make the paraphrasing stronger.)

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