Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Increasing Use of Computers and Mobile Phones has a Negative Impact on Young People – 1.

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

It is true that young generation is becoming dependent for communication on digital technology for communication and the use of these equipments (I can see technology but not equipment in this sentence. Use the correct referencing: .. and its use has increased dramatically) have increased dramatically. Hence, (do not use concluding words in the introduction) many people believe that this type of practice is ruining the writing and reading habits of young ones. They further suggest that young generation is playing with the grammatical rules of language while using mobiles or computer which is a serious threat to the existence of a language. (Two issues: Firstly, this is not a place for an explanation. Explain in the body paragraphs only. Secondly, if this is not your view, do not explain since it is an opinion question.) I do not agree with this viewpoint and I believe that this (Pronoun mistake: One pronoun can refer to one noun only. The first this refers to the viewpoint, the second this refers to technology.) the demand of time and there is no negative effect on writing and reading skills of younger people.

(Discuss the elements of an introduction with me. Your introduction suffers from structuring and grammatical mistakes.)

To begin with, computer technology is the demand of the present time. No one can progress without using digital way of writing and reading. We have to keep pace with changing technology (The question is not whether we have to keep pace with the changing technology. The question is “impact of computers on reading and writing skills.” Context lost.). However, there is are some issues with the writing that the people use short forms of words and grammatical rules are generally ignored but this new type of writing is more convenient in communication (Again, the question is not about convenience.). Hence we have to accept this writing talent. (Please explain “HOW” computers impact reading and writing skills.)

Another important reason is that no language is constant absolute, meaning that writing style of any language . Every language changes with time due to development of society and technology (parallelism: society and technology are nouns and hence parallel.) technological advancements. For instance, now we are using some words which are recently introduced freely like digital, software etc (This sentence does not explain the idea sufficiently. Sample: The use of computers is gradually changing the way formal language is written and read. For instance, youngsters prefer word contractions to writing a long word. This will gradually become a part of the language.). It is obvious that this trend will continue in the future, and writing and reading patterns will change and our future generation has to accept it.

To conclude, it unwise to say that this is a negative development though I will say that it is a normal process which change time(rephrase your opinion only: I believe computers and mobile phones are leading to the evolution of languages. They are changing the writing and reading styles of the young generation. Though this may seem strange to the adults, this will become a mainstream trend in the future.)

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