Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Pay Higher Taxes to Build Basic Needs.

Some people believe we need to pay higher taxes in order for the government to build population’s basic needs. Others say the government should find other means to get funds for it. What should the government do, in your opinion?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

It is the prime responsibility of any government to give fulfill (use better vocabulary for a higher Lexical Resources score) basic needs facilities to of its citizens and majority of times money is the major mostly money is an important (word repetition: major) constraint to them (refers back to basic needs. Cohesion.) provide basic things. (The opening sentence stands good on task response. However, it is weak in cohesion and lexical resources.) Rising taxes could be an easy option to generate more money but I strongly disagree to with this approach, however, (You’ve already created a contrast with but in this sentences. No need of another contrast.) . I believe that any authority should raise economy to help their poor people by various other means. I base my statement on the following points(It is better to mention the other means.)

Although it is true that implementing high taxes on affluent people (do not restrict yourself to affluent people. The question nowhere mentions that.) is the easiest way to increase revenue but , it is a negative approach (Although X, Y construction. No need of but.). It means that it will create creates (use the present tense.) more dissatisfaction among rich citizens and eventually, they may feel that they are duped by the government. (The argument is not strong. Please make it more specific. Why are they dissatisfied? Why do they feel duped? Sample: When a government imposes higher taxes on various goods and services, it reduces people’s purchasing power. Consequently, it reduces the overall sale of goods and services and the net tax revenue of the government falls. Thus, imposing higher taxes reduces the amount of funds needed for providing basic services to the people.)

In addition, as it is the least path of least resistance, government will apply applies this method regularly again and again (lexical resource issue) to meet serve the basic needs and it will creates more burden on one group of people who are earning earn money by hard work and this will leads to the an unbalanced society, where one set of people are working work for another. (Several issues: Please understand the difference between the present continuous tense and Simple Present tense. You MEET your own needs. Government SERVES your needs.)

The another (The other) way is to raise funds by using different means (what are these means? If you do not write them, your answer will remain vague. Be SPECIFIC. On the other hand, governments can raise resources for serving the people by implementing the user pays principle. Instead of increasing taxes to build highways, for instance, governments often impose toll fees for those who use the road.). This could be difficult for any government (how is it difficult?) but in the long term it will improves the economy of the a nation and government will be able to provide basic infrastructure at ground level (still not clear HOW they provide basic infrastructure?). There are many countries in the world which are using their natural resources to earn money. For instance, Nepal which was a very poor country, promoted tourism, instead of imposing taxes and raise its economy significantly. (The example is not precise. How does tourism provide a substitute for taxes? Sample: For example, the Nepalese government recently decided to invite international corporations to maintain various mountaineering tracks by charging a fee to all users. This eliminated the government’s responsibility to provide this basic need to its citizens and prevented any possible increase in taxes on poor citizens.)

At last, rising taxes would not be a good idea to improve ground level things (What are ground level things? Vague and unclear.) as it will bring disbalance imbalance in (lexical resource issue) society while using the resources, increasing tourism or business will be more suitable to improve the financial condition. (The question is not on improving the financial resources but on providing basic services. Task Response.)

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