Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Companies Use a Variety of Methods to Improve Sales.

Companies use a variety of methods to improve the sales of their products. What are those methods? Which is the most effective method?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

With globalization & and the rise of industries, the competition to be the best & and on the top of the market has also increased (Do not use contractions in formal writing). Companies use various strategies in order to compete with each other by adopting diverse ideas to promote the sale of its their (companies = plural; its = singular. Wrong pronoun use.) products. (Though the introduction is fine, it can be improved by MENTIONING the methods/ strategies. Companies use various strategies such as promotions, product design and advertisements to …….)

Firstly, promotion is one of the methods most effective tools to enhance increase the (A sale is never enhanced. Enhance refers to intensity, degree of something. Wrong word choice.) sale of a product, which enables consumers with actual to experience of using the product. It involves utility & and trial of a product, tasting the product (this is the same as the trail), brochures distribution handling & face to face interaction between a company and its prospective customer discussion with company’s executive. For instance, different stalls are placed at grocery stores & malls for the promotion of newly launched product where company executive explains explain the quality, features & usage of a product and ensure to answer costumer’s queries. Consequently, this way people get familiar with the selling item this makes people familiar with the product.

(The IDEA and ARGUMENTS in the paragraph above are strong. However, the expression is weak in terms of lexical resource. You could have used better words to express the same idea.)

Secondly, changing outlook of a product can attain attract people’s attention. This means the company needs to be innovative to design attractive packaging of a product. This may include shimmery packets, bright color, and creative outlook (Parallelism issue: shimmery and creative are adjectives while color is a noun. Use an adjective before it.), which lure people to spend money. For example, a chocolate making company uses eye-catching colors & persuasive packaging which provokes provoke children to buy them.

(Again, IDEA and ARGUMENTS are fine. Need to work on a few grammar issues.)

Finally, advertisements (an advertisement) through television, radio, social media, e-commerce websites, roadside billboards & and flyers are considered to be the crucial tools for marketing of a product. Nowadays, adverts advertisements try to make services or products glamorous, which is achieved by getting a star from the world of entertainment or sports field (field = world) to endorse the product. (Please give an example in one sentence. Think of a star and a product.)

In conclusion, there are multiple ways to promote the product & and to improve sales, however, in my view, promotion of a product with real experience is the most effective one. (Why? Why not others? Explain this in comparison to others. This demands a separate paragraph before the conclusion.)

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