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IELTS Essay Correction: Most People Spend a Major Part of Adult Life at Work.

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing.

What factors contribute to job satisfaction?

How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

In today’s world, adulthood is all about building up a career and to land landing (parallelism: building and landing are parallel) in a fulfilling job is of utmost importance for a better life (I’ve changed the sentence structure to make a better sense.). The contributing factors for a satisfying job are good workplace environment, an interest of the job holder and a handsome salary (Excellent!). However, I believe that to expect a cent hundred percent work satisfaction is quite unrealistic as an ideal job may not exist in the world.

Job satisfaction depends on a number of factors. Firstly, a job should suit a person’s interest. (Do not proceed to the next point without explaining the former point: If a person does not love the work, he cannot pursue it for a long time and will soon feel exhausted. This fatigue will soon cause lack of satisfaction in job.) Secondly, acceptance and encouragement by the boss and colleagues give a healthy environment to live and work. (Explanation missing: Various studies have proved that the greatest motivating factor for an employee is not the salary but the appreciation of work by the immediate boss.) Lastly, the money one makes out of the work is a major the ultimate satisfying factor. Since each individual works to fulfill the needs and desires of his family, an adequate salary plays an important role in motivating an employee to reach his workplace in time. 

For example, just recently, my friend Madhavi who is in her final year of Bachelor in Sociology conducted a study where 500 job holders were asked to fill a questionnaire on job satisfaction. 46% picked up salary, 25% workplace environment and 15% chose interests. Thus, these are the factors most people look for in a job. (The example does not explain WHY each of these is important. The example is NOT wrong. You just need to explain the three IDEAS before writing this example.)

However, the search for an ideal job may never end as almost everything in life demands compromise. A particular job may fulfill your a person’s interests but may not pay you your the desired salary (Amount is a vague word and may mean anything. Salary, on the other hand, is specific.) amount. Similarly, there are occupations such as a mining worker in Australia where the salary is high but the workplace environment is grossly unsatisfactory. There might always be room for complaints. As a job holder myself, I have switched on to different jobs. I initially worked for a place where they paid me a huge salary but the work was tiresome. After working for a few months, I applied to another center where I am happy with my job but my colleagues are not really supportive. Nevertheless, I still work at the place hoping for better things to come. (This seems fine for 6 bands. Not for 7. Your example should have data and facts that make it specific in nature. Pick only one job and EXPLAIN it. For instance, I am working as a doctor in one of the most famous hospitals in Kathmandu. Though I enjoy my work and earn more than a hundred thousand rupees per month, the work environment is really frustrating. The doctors are not supporting and the nurse union never supports the management in efficient operations.)

In conclusion, for a happy life and health life job satisfaction is a must. The elements we desperately seek such as good place and people, money, and interests may not be always present. However, a bit of ups and downs are a part of everything.

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