Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Should Discrimination Against Older Workers be Made Illegal?

“Age discrimination occurs when a decision is made on the basis of a person’s age. In the workplace, these are most often decisions about being employed in the first place, winning promotions or being unfairly dismissed. Should discrimination against older workers be made illegal? “

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Before writing this answer, let me explain the context of the question. You should write an answer to this question in the context of:

  1. Hiring decisions: Should youngsters be preferred in the hiring process?
  2. Promotion: Should youngsters be preferred while awarding a promotion?
  3. Dismissal: Should the elderly be dismissed without proper procedure or reason?

One of the most controversial issues today relates to age discrimination at the workplace. Though some people believe that law should not intrude in the decisions of the employer but (Though X, Y construction. Do not use but with though.) I opine that when discrimination against older workers should be considered illegal and the law of the state should step in to protect the elderly workforce. Further explanation to support my opinion is provided in this essay(Of course, it is. No need to state this.)

The most preponderant one (What does one refer to?) stems from the fact that it is against the right to equality (Let me rephrase: Discrimination against the elderly is against the right to equality irrespective of age.). Everyone should have equal rights and decisions should be made on the basis of the eligibility criteria for the job. If somebody is not hired or dismissed only because of age, then it must be considered unfair and he should be given an opportunity to appeal against this injustice. Thus, it is apparent why age discrimination should be made illegalThe question is “Should discrimination against older workers be made illegal?” You’re supposed to explain WHY this is should be made illegal. You’ve not EXPLAINED that.

Sample Paragraph based on “Right to Equality”: Discrimination against the elderly in matters of job allocation and promotion should be made illegal as this is against the right to equality. All individuals, who have the same merit, have the right to be treated equally. If the elder members of a team are not considered equal, this will violate their constitutional rights. This will devoid them of equal opportunities to grow personally and hence support their family adequately.

Another pivotal aspect of this argument is that the old aged people should have the right to earn their livelihood. Taking away this right from them not only will result in more dependant civilians, but also deplete deprive the society from of the big contributions that these highly experienced and matured minds can make. (Can you explain the contributions? The elder team members usually have more technical and personal experience. Discriminating them to favor younger team members will deprive a company of wisdom to make the right decisions.) To safeguard them and the community, the law should intervene in a positive way.

Taking the above arguments into consideration, one can conclude that discrimination against old people at the workplace should be prohibited by law so that they can enjoy their freedom and contribute to the society with their enormous experience and maturity.

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