Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Safety Standards in Homes – Building Codes.

Safety standards are important when building people’s homes. Who should be responsible for enforcing strict building codes – the government or the people who build the homes?

Use your own knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. 

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

All of us have witnessed how natural disasters such as earthquakes devastate man-made buildings and houses. Because of this, maintaining safety standards are essential in building houses. (Write only one general statement. Not two. Use SINCE X, Y (AS X, Y) construction: As natural disasters such as earthquakes devastate man-made structures such as buildings and houses, maintaining safety standards are essential in building houses.) While people who build their homes obviously have a major part to play, the government should take the responsibility in setting a definite standard for safety as it is a matter of the whole country and not just an individual house. Moreover, when it’s a government rule, it is taken rather seriously not only has an elaborate machinery to monitor construction safety but also the power to legislate laws that impose strict punishment for any violation.

When a single house collapses, it damages its surrounding areas as well. A collapsed house may destroy an adjacent house and also kill people walking by. Therefore, building quake-resistant houses are not just important for the people of a particular house but for the whole of the community. The government is the best body that can take care of these matters. In addition, the government can take help from the geographical researchers who know which areas are dangerous and what level of safety is required.

(Though the above paragraph is grammatically correct, it lacks a strong IDEA. Why should the government be authorized? Why not people? Firstly, the government has an elaborate machinery to monitor the construction of safe homes. It has various organs such as the housing departments, construction departments which are dedicated to the purpose of quality construction. It employs numerous engineers who are skilled professionals to monitor the sites. An individual neither has the expertise nor has the resources to carry out these tasks efficiently.(ELABORATE MACHINERY idea mentioned and explained.)

Moreover, any advice is implemented better if it comes out as a government rule (Secondly, only the government has the power to enact laws to construct safe buildings and impose heavy penalty on the contractor in event of any violation.). When a state issues an order, (don’t put a comma here) every person is alert and, (need a comma here) with the fear of a penalty, they (every person = singular, they = plural) become more careful in following the rule. For example, in Indonesia, which since Indonesia is a volcano and earthquake prone country, its government has restricted the building of more than three story buildings (Change sentence structure: Use SINCE X, Y construction in a cause-effect relationship.). Had the government not taken this step, things could have been different (How? Had the government not taken this step, more than a million people would have been severely affected in the volcanic eruption in Bali island in 2016.).

In conclusion, for an issue as sensitive as building houses, the government should step forward to establish a safety standard and people must follow it strictly.

Follow this blog and like our Facebook page to learn exciting new essays and cue cards. You can contact me HERE.

Please subscribe to my Youtube Channel.

Contact me for writing polished and effective Statement of Purpose.

Contact me for Editing Services and Document Writing Services.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s