Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: History has Nothing to Tell us.

Some people think history has nothing or little to tell us, but others think that studying the past history can help us better understand the present.

Discuss the two views and give your own opinion. 

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

It is considered by many that history provides (provides is less clear than teach) nothing (history has nothing to teach us) whereas others believe that learning history gives a greater insight of into the present. While it is true that studying history can be a waste of time considering all the illogical customs and beliefs, I believe that it is actually interesting to know how cultures started and changed in the course of time helping us to identify ourselves and bond with each other and evolved with time and how this helps us in creating a unique identity(evolved is better than changed. “creating a unique identity” is better than “helping us to identify ourselves”) Please note that there are better ways to express your ideas and this is instrumental in increasing the score to 7+. Overall, the introduction is clearly expressed.

History is boring and weird for some people (the following sentences should explain both BORING and WEIRD.). Owing to the study of bizarre superstitious beliefs, it is considered to be a total time waste. For instance, history books state that in the 16th century India, walking under a ladder was thought to bring bad luck to the a person. Similarly, watching an empty water jar before travelling was considered inauspicious on the way did the same (better choice of words). However, taking a spoon of curd before going out was believed to be lucky (auspicious) gave a lucky day. These beliefs are utterly senseless and must have been established due to pure coincidence which makes learning history worthless. (The idea is fine. However, the explanation has ample scope for improvement in terms of better expression of ideas using the right words.)

Nevertheless, we are deeply connected to our customs as we practise them right from our childhood. As we go deeper through the history, interesting facts unfold that help us relate to them immensely (the idea is not clear. I guess it would have been better if you had used “IDENTITY” idea mentioned in the introduction). To illustrate, ‘Sati’ is an obsolete funeral custom where a widow immolates herself on her husband’s pyre. To end this cruel custom, people came up with the idea of marrying a girl child to the sun first. Thus, this way a woman is never a widow until the sun rises in the sky. This was how ‘Gufa’ the culture of marrying a girl child to the sun was established in Nepal and we celebrate this festival all together. ‘Gufa’ not only ended a ruthless tradition but also brought all the people together for a merry moment. Thus, history narrates these customs and teach the value of protecting women rights and maintaining unity in the society that are relevant to the present era. (Link this back to the present – “help us better understand the present.”)

In conclusion, I believe that even though history has unwanted and useless facts, it is on for us to filter and learn from those that help us to live a prosperous and happier life together in our society.

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