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IELTS Essay Correction: People Should not Work Once they Reach the Retirement​ Age.

Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your experience.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Introduction: (Introduce the topic and STATE your opinion. MENTION the reasons supporting your opinion.)

The recent advancements in medical science have increased the longevity of humans and they are living a mentally and physically active life even after retirement. I strongly believe that people should engage productively even after the retirement age since this not only keeps the retired people healthy but also enables the society to use experience and skills of these individuals.

Body Paragraph 1: (EXPLAIN reason 1)

Various studies have proved that working after retirement age keeps people psychologically sound. If an individual suddenly stops engaging in economically productive activities at the age of 58, that person feels worthless and, in extreme cases, goes into depression. To maintain mental health, individuals should keep working at least part-time after retirement so that they feel their worth to the society. For example, a Harvard study revealed that more than 50 percent of inhabitants of old age homes have a productive brain and a functioning body. However, these people fall sick after they start living in these places and stop all economically rewarding activities.

Body Paragraph 2: (EXPLAIN reason 2)

Moreover, not involving the retired people in the workforce is harmful to the economy of a region. Since these individuals have a work experience of at least three decades, suddenly expelling them from the system amounts to the loss of productive employees. Training new employees to replace these people entails huge economic cost and this often consumes years. Therefore, retired individuals should be retained in certain roles where training people is expensive. For instance, several multinational enterprises such as IBM and Microsoft hire retired government employees, particularly those from regulatory bodies, since they have a deep understanding of the internal workings of these agencies.

Conclusion:

In conclusion, if individuals are encouraged to work after retirement, this will not only be beneficial to them but also to the society. This will eventually make a society economically prosperous.

Total Words = 300.

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4 replies »

    • Dear Alee, the question is “do you agree or disagree?” In this type of questions, we should stick to our opinion. I believe that retired people should engage productively after retirement. I need to explain that ONLY. There is no need to explain the view which I do not hold.

      Hope that helps.

      Like

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