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IELTS Essay Correction: Public Health is Responsibility of Government.

Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Healthy individuals contribute in country’s development and progress. Moreover, healthy life style is significant for good health (this is not a new point. No need to use these cohesive devices in the introduction.). However, (Can’t see a contrast here that necessitates the use of HOWEVER) some people advocate that government is responsible to provide appropriate facilities to citizens to live a healthy life because they pay taxes to the government and contribute in financial perspective prosperity of a country. On the other hand, some have a thought Others believe that health is individuals’ responsibility as they need to maintain themselves healthy with the help of adequate living style (WHY are the responsible for their health? Stick to the question’s demands. Others believe that health is people’s responsiblity since they are more aware of their physical condition than any government and can adapt their lifestyle accordingly.). I think an optimal mixture or balanced of these two approaches is beneficial to the public.

Government has authority to provide funding and launch programs for the wellbeing of any country’s its citizens residents. (Explain the idea in detail before concluding it) It is in a better financial position to construct hospitals and provide subsidised care to the people. Moreover, it has means to purchase medicines and give them free of cost to poor patients. Thus, it can manage public health because public people pay taxes to it government in various forms. For example, a survey conducted by a private health insurance company found 70% adults think government is responsible for public health as they pay various taxes to government (The example should support a reason why government should take care of public health. This is not a reason.). Furthermore, government has authority to make (enact) laws and ban usage of various drugs. For instance, banning smoking at public places is good effort to improve public health the Indian states of Gujarat and Bihar have banned the sale of consumption of alcohol and the republic of Kuwait has implemented similar laws. These steps have played a significant role in reducing the cases of liver failure in these regions(Develop the ideas properly)

On the contrary side, individuals have responsibility of their own health as government can provide facilities but need individual efforts to make their appropriate use ample use of them. The healthy living style helps to keep individuals physically and psychologically healthy (Can the government implement a healthy lifestyle? If not, please write this. This will prove that individuals must be held responsible for their health. Governments are not in a position to look after the lifestyle of every individual. This is solely a person’r responsibility so that he can stay physically and psychologically fit.). For instance, I followed follow a routine to do daily exercise and eat nutritious diet to keep myself fit and fine. Additionally, individual differences such s weight, height, allergies from various foods also influence on the health of a person and no government can decide a possible course of action in these events. Such as weight, height, allergies form various eatable products which require precautions. For example, Victoria University reveals in a report that maintaining good health depends on an individual‘s efforts and choice of food. 60% respondents respond that the key of their health is their healthy daily routine(Do not write this as a separate sentence. Merge it with the example.)

In conclusion, public health is essential which rely for a society and it relies on government funding and laws as well as individual efforts. Government approaches for healthy lifestyle should be attractive and approachable to common people.

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