Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Environment Protection of Our Planet for Future Generations – 2.

Nowadays the most important task is the environmental protection of our planet for future generations. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Please read correction to answer of student 1 HERE. Read answer of student 2 also.

Answer:

Our planet earth is already facing various types of air and water pollution, which are quite detrimental for the very existence of upcoming future (upcoming is mostly used for inanimate objects) generations. I firmly believe that it is the need of the hour to protect the environment for the next generations. (Better to mention the reasons supporting your argument.)

Industries, as well as automobiles, are two power-hungry sectors, which completely rely on the fossil fuels like /for example Coal and Petroleum. High consumption of these energy sources releases Carbon dioxide s and Sulphuric gases. These poisonous gases are the main culprit behind the global warming and the ozone layer hole over Antarctica continent (okay. But why is it the top priority for future generations?). Global warming is leading to the a high temperature of Earth’s atmosphere, which is resulting in into scarcity of rain and change in its overall pattern, and adversely affecting the agriculture production. One study points out that, by 2050, humans (the future generations) will suffer from a severe scarcity of food due to global warming. Whilst (wrong use of while construction. It is either used to express contrast or to express two things happening at the same time.) the destruction of the ozone layer is causing skin pigmentation/ skin cancer to the people. The incidence of cancer due to sun’s radiation is expected to increase dramatically in the near future. Apart from this it, polluted air is also the underlying factor behind respiratory problems and it is quite evident that future generation will not be an exception to it.

In addition to above, the use of pesticides and insecticides are causing water and air pollution and becoming a part of our food chain, even pests are acquiring pesticide resistance and putting posing a threat to other species (threatening the existence of other species.)The unprecedented use of these toxic substances is leading to several unexpected ailments among the newborn children. If their use is not curtailed immediately, the children in future will suffer from stunted mental faculties and, in severe cases, physical disorders such as heart ailments. Therefore, it is creating an environmental imbalance. Moreover, leather and fabric industries are also releasing their chemical wastage into river water and making it impure to drink./ making it unsuitable for consumption(But why is this the top priority for the future generations?)

Conclusively, In conclusion, I still emphasis that it is the high time to take preventive measures to check the environmental degradations otherwise following generations will have to suffer a lot.

(A conclusion is either a paraphrasing of the ideas expressed in the body paragraphs OR a future based vision. In conclusion, if environmental degradation is not checked, the future generation will suffer from various diseases and will witness a severe shortage of food. This may result in social unrest, economic depressions, and, in extreme cases, the annihilation of mankind.)

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