Answer Checking

IELTS Academic Task 1 Correction: Factors Affecting Work Performance.

The bar chart below shows the results of a survey conducted by a personnel department at a major company. The survey was carried out on two groups of workers: those aged from 18-30 and those aged 45-60, and shows factors affecting their work performance.

WhatsApp Image 2018-05-17 at 10.35.48 PM

20 minutes, 150 words at least.

Answer:

Sample Answer:

The given bar chart presents information on factors affecting work performance of employees in age groups 18 to 30 and 45 to 60 as revealed in a survey by the personnel department of a major company.

Overall, a relatively greater percentage of employees in 45 to 60 age group prefer a competent boss and respect from colleagues. Both groups give equal importance to team spirit and work environment. The 18 to 30 group gives more value to the remaining factors.

Those between 18 and 30 years of age give the greatest importance to chance for personal development. This is followed by relaxed working environment and promotion prospects which affect the performance of about 82 percent and 80 percent individuals respectively. This group gives the least importance to work environment.

The 45 to 60 years age group, on the other hand, gives the greatest value to money. Team spirit impacts the performance of more than 60 percent people in this group and this is followed by the factor of a competent boss. This group gives the least importance to job security.

Total Words: 180

Student’s response below:

The bar chart provides information about the factors affecting work performance of employees in age groups 18 to 30 and 45 to 60 as revealed in the a major company‘s survey carried out by a personal the personnel department and their result shows factors affecting their work performance and on two aged groups of employees 18-30 and 45-60(The information is not about survey but about factors affecting performance. Need better sentence structuring.)

Overall, the 18-30 aged people work performance was increased at different factors and had the wide fluctuations. The 45-60 aged group people witnessed decreased percent at affecting factors. (The statement is incorrect since there is no reference of increase or decrease in the question. Please watch the video to understand the process of building an overall statement.)

The 18-30 aged numbers affecting their work performance on team spirit was about 60 percent and it gradually increased approximately 90 percent on chance for personal development. While the performance at competent bose was suddenly dropped by nearly 60 percent, thereafter job security and respective colleagues were again dropped slowly to 40 percent. The figure for work performance rose gradually at promotion prosepects and money with similar percent. (Please follow a sequence. There is no reference to an INCREASE or a DECREASE)

The work performed on team spirit at 45-60 aged employees was same with 18-30 aged and it fell for next two factors. Suddenly it rose at competent boss about 50 percent and it shows fluctuations for next factors. Promotion prospects and job satisfaction were constant with the same percent. While the factor of work environment fallen drastically to 30 percent, work performance on money suddenly rose above half of the percent.

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