Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Modern Technology is Increasing the Gap Between Rich and Poor.

Some believe that modern technology is increasing the gap between rich and poor people, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Please read the sample answer as well.

Answer:

Some people believe that modern technology technologies such as computers, Robotics, and Artifical mechanics intelligence have increased the gap between rich and poor since some major companies used use them to manufacture goods better than humans (Wrong tense: Simple past tense.). Some other think the opposite as they provide plenty opportunities for new employees (who provides plenty opportunities? Please use a pronoun to refer back to the subject – modern technologies). I agree with the latter notion.

Present days manufacturing companies mostly preferring prefer (simple present tense) machines and modern technology than human labour employees because in this process work is will (use simple present tense) completed early and also costs less in the long run. Thus, while a large number of employees are losing jobs that support their families, investors and management are getting rich by reducing employees cost. For instance, in last decade a major company used robotics to manufactured manufacture products (Please use facts from your region to support the argument. For example, the XYZ copper manufacturing company has employed robotic machines to operate furnaces and this has rendered more than 1000 human operators jobless. On the other hand, this has increased the company’s profits by 10 percent.). This has reduced in the loss of gradually employes and generated plethora profits their company in last year.

On other hand, these technologies are providing unprecedented job opportunities for workers. If a worker can learn these technologies and , he can expect higher salaries (Correct construction: IF X, Y.). This declines the gap between rich and poor. For example, motor companies taking employees (taking employees where?) and giving them are training employees for operating automatic systems such as Robots and computer softwares. These technologies giving more wages for to workers than they received in the past. last decade (can’t compare wages with the last decade. Compare wages with wages. More X than Y – X and Y are parallel.).

In conclusion, though modern technologies are held to responsible for job losses in various parts of the world. , (though X, Y) I strongly believe that they are concentrated to divide instrumental in reducing (bridging) the rich-poor divide (gap). If employees are trained in modern technologies they will reach to earn higher salaries.

Follow this blog and like our Facebook page to learn exciting new essays and cue cards. You can contact me HERE.

Please subscribe to my Youtube Channel.

Contact me for writing a polished and effective Statement of Purpose.

Contact me for Editing Services and Document Writing Services.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s