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IELTS Essay Correction: No Homework Should be given to Children.

Some people believe that no homework should be given to children. Others, however, say extra work is needed after school for children and teenagers in order to succeed. Discuss both views and give your opinion including reasons and relevant.

Answer:

Education is proven to be a gateway to success, but at times, some obturate like (Using words without understanding their usage can be disastrous for your score. Obturate is a verb while homework is a noun. How can a verb exemplify a noun?) homework can deteriorate that gate (How does it deteriorate? Even the reasons should be specific. Not vague and general.). As a result, a majority of people consider that children should abstain be abstained from homework (A majority of people believe that children should abstain from homework since it prohibits overall development. While others believe that it makes their concepts stronger.). However, other majority (there can’t be two majorities) opine that some extra task (this does not mean homework. Use a pronoun to refer back to homework as I’ve done above.) should be provided to children and teenagers to make them successful (this is again vague. Not precise, specific.). I will explain these two opinions with some examples. (Of course you will. Use this space to state your own opinion.)

Firstly, sometimes homework impedes children from indulging in into other creative activities. Often, Children find it harder to digest the tasks when it is they are (pronoun refers back to tasks, a plural.) piled up in big numbers (You need to EXPLAIN the idea “how homework impedes children from indulging in creative activities?” A huge pile of homework consumes most of the spare time in the evening that children could use for painting, dancing, music or sports. Add creative activities examples). You need to develop an argument. That is, write an idea and explain it. Please complete the creative activities idea before moving to the interest idea. It may also cause them to lose interest in studies. For example, in India, the schools operate for 6 or 7 hours which can be very hectic at times. They (schools come back? There is no mention of children) Children come back tired and fall asleep. D due to which they do not get enough time to develop a sense of socialization, i.e., to get into a healthy relationship with socialize with their peers.  Moreover, it might also affect their health mentally and as well as physically.

The example written above is on socialization. However, the idea preceding it is on INTEREST in studies. They do not match. Please follow the following structure:

1. Mention an idea (one sentence)

2. Explain the idea (one to two sentences)

3. Give an example of the same idea (one sentence)

But, there it has been proved that homework does help children and adolescents in accentuating enhancing (wrong word usage: Accentuate = make something noticeable. Children are not making others notice their interest) their interests and knowledge in subjects. There are always few students who are not studious and hence, they need a proper guidance. This is where homework plays a core role; It keeps them keep in touch with the syllabus (Okay. But does it increase their interest and knowledge? Not stated in the explanation. Explanation of idea in the opening sentence: Homework allows children to apply the concepts taught in the class and this gradually creates an interest in different subjects. For example, though I did not like French literature earlier, my teacher has been giving me homework regularly and this has helped me develop an interest in French literature.). For example, I am very repulsive towards French Literature but, my subject teacher provides us with homework which enables me to score a good mark in that particular subject though I am not good at it.

To conclude, while at first, it might seem that tasks should not be given to children but, we cannot simply ignore the importance of homework. Thus, I would say that homework must be given to kids as well as to teenagers children but in a moderate amount so that it does an ample amount, it should not hinder their other interests in life and it should also allow them to foster develop (foster is not the same as develop. Foster = encourage the development of sth.) a healthy mind and a body without demanding much of their precious time.

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