Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Advice From Doctors OR Internet.

advice from doctor or internet IELTS Essay May 2018.jpg

Some people prefer to get advice from doctors while others prefer internet for medical recommendations? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Now that you can find almost everything on the internet, some people prefer to simply search searching for medical remedies whenever illness symptoms start to appear instead of visiting a real doctor (X instead of Y: X, Y should be parallel. searching, visiting). I strongly disagree with this action because it may cause negative reaction due to a wrong diagnosis by the person himself.

To begin with, people use the internet to look for a medical advice for many reasons. First, poor to average families can’t afford hospital fees, and might not have a medical insurance which covers most of the counseling and treatment costs. Thus, they choose homemade remedies to relieve their pain (Do they search the internet for these remedies: Thus, instead of visiting a doctor, they use the internet to find a remedy and apply it without proper medical advice.). Secondly, other some people are too busy to visit a clinic. Obviously, the internet is a faster option to those whose schedules are full because they would rather spend their time working on a project, or perhaps (Parallelism: time X or Y. X and Y should be parallel. The first word of both should belong to the same family. Working and studying are verbs while perhaps is an adjective.) studying for their finals, than waiting wait for (Parallelism, again. Rather X than Y. Spend and wait.) their turn in a long queue. In brief, browsing the network for a medical solution seems easier, cheaper, and quicker to some people. (Despite the grammar and task response mistakes highlighted above, you’ve made a good attempt at developing the right structure and proper arguments.)

However, I believe that doctor’s recommendation is always a safer option (A good connecting sentence that ensures proper flow). Taking an advice from someone who is legally permitted in the health (the medical) field is more trustworthy than a random person‘s blog on the internet for instance (this is not an example). Being properly diagnosed by a specialist, than and being described the right medicine will prevent any health conflicts issues (complications) later on. For example, the random use usage of antibiotics by parents to treat their child without a medical description will lead to either another other serious disease like cancer or weak immune system (Parallelism: Either X or Y. The first word of X = another, first word of Y = weak. Both are adjectives and parallel. But you need to write “EITHER”.) when their child only suffered from flu at the beginning. Therefore, protecting your health by cutting off sparing an hour of your day to visit the a doctor sounds like a better is a healthier (wise) choice. (USE vs USAGE: Usage is the customary way of doing something. “The USAGE of right words is important for scoring 7 bands in the IELTS exam.”)

In conclusion, nobody should play luck games when it comes to their health by trying various advices from the internet. Health is the most valuable thing in a human’s life, and losing it means losing everything you own.

Follow this blog and like our Facebook page to learn exciting new essays and cue cards. You can contact me HERE.

Please subscribe to my Youtube Channel.

Contact me for writing a polished and effective Statement of Purpose.

Contact me for Editing Services and Document Writing Services.

Advertisements

1 reply »

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.