Some people use the Internet to search for solutions to their medical problems. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your own opinion and examples from your experience.
20 minutes, 250 words at least.
Answer:
Introduction: (Introduce the topic, STATE your opinion and MENTION the reasons supporting your opinion)
With the proliferation of the internet, people are increasingly resorting to online solutions to their medical problems. I think this is a negative development since not only are doctors better placed to offer the right course of action (reason 1) but also the internet contains incorrect recommendations that can lead to adverse consequences (reason 2). (Note the use of cohesive devices – SINCE and NOT ONLY, BUT ALSO)
Body Paragraph 1: (EXPLAIN reason 1)
Unlike individuals who (adjective pronoun) rely on the internet for an appropriate solution (collocation) to medical issues, doctors have extensive experience (collocation) and training to tackle these (cohesion) problems (Cohesion – UNLIKE X, Y construction). The doctors spend about a decade studying various diseases (collocation) and study hundreds of cases every week. This (cohesion) strengthens their understanding of diseases and they can suggest the right course of action. Online search, on the other hand (cohesion), can only inform an individual but can not guide him. For example, a doctor is better placed than the internet to study the extent of development of cancerous cells in human body and recommend the right dose of chemotherapy.
Body Paragraph 2: (EXPLAIN reason 2)
Moreover (cohesion), the internet is not a reliable source (collocation) of information. Though a lot of information is correct, some of it is not. It is mostly written by laypersons and not by subject experts. Also (cohesion), common people can not understand the remedies and suggestions of doctors since they are in medical jargon. Consequently (cohesion), people are often misguided and they sometimes end up losing their lives. For example, after the outbreak of bird flu in Asia in 2015, many people resorted to searching the internet for remedies. Since (cohesion) its symptoms are the same as those of common cold, these individuals consumed paracetamol instead of (cohesion) visiting a medical practitioner. This led to the death of hundreds of people.
Conclusion:
In conclusion, the internet is not a dependable source (collocation) of information on various medical issues (collocation) since (cohesion) they are complex and need years of training to understand. If people rely on websites for self-medication, they will have to bear adverse consequences and, in some extreme cases, lose their precious lives (cohesion – IF, THEN construction).
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Categories: Blog, Writing Task 2
This is a wonderfully written essy indeed! However, I keep wondering how long does it take to write this all in such understandable format? I’m as slow as a turtle even if have been practising for almost 5 months! The exam is approaching and I’m in stress :))
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