Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Threat of Nuclear Weapons Maintains World Peace.

Threat of Nuclear Weapons Maintains World Peace IELTS Essay ELTEC.jpg

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

It is argued that nuclear technology is beneficial for us because not only it provides us with clean and cheap energy, but also helps to maintain world peace. However, I disagree that advantages of nuclear technology outweigh its drawbacks since nuclear waste is more harmful than air pollution due to use of emitted by hydrocarbons (it seems to be a reason for “nuclear waste more harmful than air pollution”) and presence of nuclear weapons have placed our existence on a stake.

Firstly, nuclear energy is not as clean as it is considered, but . It produces more harmful pollutants than fossil fuels. Nuclear reactors work on fission process where uranium atoms are bombarded by slow electrons to produce energy.  As a result of this reaction, a huge amount of heat is produced along with uranium waste remains which is are highly reactive and emits cancer-causing rays (cancerous radiation). For instance, according to the nuclear research association, Japan, if a nuclear waste produced from fission of five-gram uranium is disposed of in an open environment, it could can cause skin cancer to the whole population living in fifty-kilometer radius. Therefore, scientists are working to dump nuclear waste underground so that its harmful effects can be controlled.

Furthermore, the thinking that presence of nuclear weapons with every country is maintaining the world peace is wrong. If a captain of any army triggers a nuclear weapon, the whole world could indulge in a nuclear war, which could end our very existence on the earth (…which could terminate all living organisms on the earth.). To illustrate, a recent contention between North Korea and the US has developed the chances of a nuclear war between these two nations. If any of these countries have attacked attacks the other, the whole world would have indulged will indulge in unwanted nuclear conflict killing thousands of innocent people.

Alternative Paragraph:

Though some people propose that the presence of nuclear weapons acts as a deterrent for all countries, I strongly disagree with this simplistic presumption. Many countries with nuclear weapons are unstable civilian regimes. Countries such as Pakistan have been red flagged as states that may fail and then the nuclear weapons will fall into the hands of terrorists who will use them indiscriminately. Moreover, the tension between countries such as North Korea and South Korea or between Iran and Saudi Arabia may compel the losing side to use these weapons of mass destruction. These weapons can cause significant long-term damage to all living organisms as evident from the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1944. 

In conclusion, nuclear technology is responsible for the development of mass killing weapons and the energy production from nuclear reactor produces harmful waste. Hence, its drawbacks are far more than benefits.

The essay scores well on task response, lexical resources, grammar and cohesion. The arguments are well developed (coherent). Good job!

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