Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Lowering the Speed Bar will Lead to Road Safety – 2.

Some people say that lowering the speed bar will lead to road safety, while others believe that there are many other factors which can contribute to road safety. What is your opinion and discuss both the aspects.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Generally, people think that drivers tend to respect road regulations to avoid any sort of fines, consequentially lowering the speed bar could affect the number of incidents (In the introduction, I recommend not using consequently. Prefer SINCE construction instead. People think that since drivers tend to …., lowering the speed bar …..). On other side, others assume that other factors such as …… can have a huge impact on road safety such as driver’s capability, consume consumption of alcohol or hallucinogens and usage of smartphones. (1. Please note the correct placement of such as. 2. Note parallelism: driver, consumption, and usage are nouns and hence parallel.)

Imposing a lower speed limit on urban and provincial ones will force people to slow their vehicles down. Several studies have shown that there is a bigger risk of accidents on urban roads than on motorways or commercial ones due to a lack of speed limit. When people are forced to drive slower, there is a lesser probability of an accident and no chance of a fatal mishap. (Let us complete the argument.) Increasing the number of speed cameras would hugely affect people’s lives (Okay, there is a disconnect between the previous sentence and this. I guess you need to connect the two using: The governments can enforce this law by installing the speed cameras that monitor vehicle speeds and issue tickets for any violation.). In 2010, a magazine reported that in Manchester the speed limit was brought down from 35 mph to 15 mph on urban roads and the percentage of accidents drastically decreased. Lowering the speed limit saved not only saved lives but also reduced the possible damage to vehicles (not only X but also Y. X and Y are parallel.).

Despite this fact, some folks have come up with some interesting ideas and proposed more road obligations alternatives to reduce the number of road deaths. Firstly, driver licenses should be granted only to mentally and physically healthy people who have passed an aptitude and a driving test and a further revising test should be carried out every 5 years to confirm their identity ensure their fitness (I guess you’re proposing this to make sure that people are physically and mentally healthy after five years.). Secondly, people who have been caught by police and resulted intoxicated for driving under the influence of an intoxicant should paid pay a fine and their license should be revoked. Thirdly, drivers who use their smartphones whilst are driving are one of the commonest cause (drivers are not the cause, the act of using a phone is. Please change the subject: Thirdly, the use of cell phones while driving is the commonest cause of road accidents.) of accidents. Therefore, electronic devices should detect when a person is entering in a car and, using a sensor, turn off the device.

Please note that your mistakes are that of using incorrect words for expression. When the words are correct, their structuring is not optimum.

In conclusion, though driving at a lower speed makes roads safer for everyone, there are alternative approaches that are more effective. I think governments should consider different alternatives implement these methods, even in the presence of a speed limit. (Implement seems a better word than consider. Prefer the use of a pronoun to refer back to “alternative approaches”.)

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