Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Lowering the Speed Bar will Lead to Road Safety – 3.

Many people believe that reducing the speed limit is the best option for road safety improvement. Do you think there are other measures that could be put in place? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Many people believe that reducing speed limit is the best option for road safety improvement (You’ve copied the question statement. Please avoid this tendency. Many people think that road accidents and related loss of life and property can be avoided by reducing the speed limit of vehicles.). This is most common belief that most people have (This sentence does not add any value to your answer. It does not communicate any message.). However, according to me, there are other options (Which options? It will be better to specifically mention them.) that can be adopted in order to improve safety on road. (I believe there are alternatives such as wearing a seat belt that are more effective in improving safety on roads.)

The introduction fails to communicate the message. It seems to be a mere copy of the question statement.

One of the measures that can be undertaken is wearing a seat belt while driving (If you prefer to mention the other measures as I’ve written in the blue colour in the introduction, you need not write this opening sentence. Begin with the next sentence.). In my country most people forget to wear or choose not wear it, until it is imposed on them. The government has made it mandatory in certain cities and there is traffic police around the city keeping a check the traffic police strictly enforces this law. There are many advantages related to wearing a seat belt. Firstly, reduces the risk of anybody getting hurt in case of an accident, as the belt protects you. Writing the same idea in fewer words fetches more bands: This reduces the risk of fatal injuries during an accident. Secondly, if one is wearing the belt the airbags open (This is covered under fatal injuries. Alternative version of this sentence: This reduces the risk of fatal injuries during an accident by restraining the person to the seat and preventing the collision of the head with the windshield.). Therefore, the government should make wearing seat belts mandatory in the whole country and launch programs regarding that. (The idea is fine but it is not effectively communicated. Learn to communicate in fewer words. This will help you choose the words that communicate the idea most effectively. Note the use of words I’ve underlined above.)

The second measure that can be adopted is creating public awareness to obeying traffic rules (obeying can’t be a measure. Creating public awareness is a measure.). Anybody who holds a driving license should undergo a workshop related to traffic rules from time to time. This would enable them that person (Anybody = singular, pronoun can’t be plural) to stay updated. (The quality of your response will improve if you are more specific about traffic rules. This would enable that person to understand the importance of zebra crossing, traffic lights, and traffic signs. A person who follows these rules drives slowly and safely as compared to others.) Moreover, remembering traffic rules will make people feel responsible while driving about themselves and those traveling on the road (this sentence does not convey any idea. What do you mean by responsible? Please be specific in your response and do not leave anything vague.). Therefore, obeying and following traffic rules would in turn reduce speed limit, which has been often cited as most common reason for accidents.

To conclude, I would like to say that the government’s strict and serious intervention into measures as above would definitely lead to a decrease in the number of road accidents.

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