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IELTS General Task 1 Correction: Letter to Cinema Manager.

Write a letter to a cinema manager to inform him/her that you have lost your bag at the cinema. In your letter
– Tell exactly what happened and when.
– Where do you think you left the bag?
– Ask the manager to help find the bag.

Answer:

Dear Sir,

My name is Avin Kaur and I have been (Wrong tense. Have been = You’re still in the cinema) visited in your cinema hall last night, where I enjoyed a movie ‘Mission Impossible’ at 11o’ clock pm in screen number 2. Unfortunately, I left my bag there after watching the show.

Alternative structure of sentences: I visited your cinema last night to watch the 11 pm show of the Mission Impossible. I was seated at A26 in screen number 2. When I reached home after watching the movie, I realized that I had forgotten my Gucci bag. (Note the use of the simple past tense and the past perfect tense.)

Actually, the show was a houseful and to avoid hustle after the movie, I left my seat number A26, a little before the end of the movie. But, in hurry, I forgot to pick my bag which was under the seat (perfect use of which as an adjective pronoun. Good that you avoided a comma.). To my mind, your cleaning staff must have some information about my bag, it as they clean the theatre rooms after every show. (You’ve adequately and specifically addressed the second question.)

I would like to request you that to please ask your the lost and found department of the cinema. I tried to contact it them, (department in singular) but I did not get any positive response. Therefore, your intervention is essential to help me in finding my bag. My bag It is of brown color and has some important documents, a bunch of keys and a driving license in it. Please inform me on my mobile 9876543210, if as soon as you get any information about it.

Hoping for you cooperation in this matter

Yours Sincerely,

Avin Kaur.

Though the response is fine, it has ample scope for improvement through better sentence structuring. Avoid the grammar mistakes in general and subject-pronoun disagreement in particular.

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