Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: New Technology is Improving the Lives of Workers – 1.

Some people say that new technology always brings advantages to workers life. Others say that it has many disadvantages. Discuss both views and say your opinion.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Please read the sample answer HERE.

Answer:

It is a fact that this era is the era of new technology (Removing the first era doesn’t alter the sentence’s meaning). While many people think that new technology it (use referencing) offers benefits to the life of workers in any and all circumstances (better MENTION the benefits). Others believe that it has negative effects on their life (better MENTION the negative effects). I reckon that new technology is not always in the workers favor.

While many people think that it offers workers numerous benefits ranging from reducing unpleasant tasks to accomplishing the tasks faster, others believe that it workers are negatively impacted due to job losses. I agree with the latter view.

It is admittedly that Admittedly, new technology facilitates the daily tasks of workers. It is well designed and programmed to do the unpleasant and boring jobs that the majority of workers try to avoid. (Please EXPLAIN the unpleasant and boring before moving to the next point. Several such tasks such as mopping floors and cleaning vehicles are done by machines.) Due to its efficiency and reliability, new technology can help achieve the tasks faster. For instance, the dishwasher machine can accomplish in 30 min minutes what the a human (better context) cleaner would take three hours to finish. (What are the advantages for workers? Thus a worker can devote time to more important issues instead of worrying about mundane things.)

The ideas expressed in the above paragraph are fine. However, they can be better developed and the context (task response) can be improved.

However, many think I agree with the view that new technology is technological advancements are (Avoid repeating New Technology) not always on the workers’ side. There are many incidents where it replaces them and makes them redundant. For example, the driverless cars that Google, the software giant, is about to release in the market will cause many drivers to lose their jobs. As a result, there will be a plummet serious fall (wrong placement of the word plummet) in the living standards of their families in terms of health and education (As a result, the living standards of workers will plummet.). (Idea is clearly written and explained. Well done.) Also, losing a job increases the stress which, in some cases, could lead to other serious health problems such as diabetic diabetes and heart stroke.

In conclusion, despite the benefits that new technology adds to workers’ life lives (a worker’s life), I think it has a detrimental effect on them their life.

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