Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Methods Used in Advertising are Unethical and Unacceptable.

Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

There is are a good number of immoral unethical commercials which are not accepted by a community the local community (Use of THE makes the community specific – as if you’re referring to a particular community.). I strongly believe that nudity and offense do exist in many of today’s advertising. advertisements. (I strongly believe that these commercials use inappropriate means such as nudity, gender biases to influence the people into buying their product.)

Before writing this answer, you should brainstorm the exact meaning of unethical and unacceptable. This refers to following any means to sell a product. This includes nudity, actors posing as doctors (experts), false claims about a product, biases, etc. PLUS, morals are different from ethics. Morals are personal in nature. Ethics are social/ cultural. 

There are many advertisements that largely insult women and hurt them deeply because of the inappropriate content these advertisements have (this is obvious – no need to write). In order to draw the attention of as many people as they can, advertisement companies overly focus on the attractions of a fit, stunning and young girl rather than the product itself. This way of intentionally exposing their bodies in non-female related products makes many women around the world feel offended. (The idea is clearly stated and explained in a logical format.) Furthermore, due to the inducing gestures of the promoting girl and her short dress/ clothes, tight and sexy, some advertisements’ content can be classified as nudity. Broadcasting such commercials on TV channels where which (the correct adjective pronoun for channels is which.) all family member including kids might be watching watch (Simple present tense) make the parents lose their temper because of the adverse effects threats that early exposure to sex-related materials can have on their kids. (… because of the threats that early exposure to sex-related material poses to their kids.) (Threat does not gel with can have on.)

Another issue in some of today’s some commercials is their gender-biased content (is their gender biases). The frequent link of a product to a certain class of people in the community makes the others feel inferior inferiority. For example, the slogan of an exorbitant expensive (exorbitant means excessive. Wrong word choice.) perfume that says “The perfume respected men deserve” makes those who cannot afford it feel humiliated by that advertisement (this is obvious – no need to write). Also, there is always a hidden link in commercials between cleaning products and women. This unconsciously instills in the brain of people that only women are supposed to do the cleaning work at home. This increases the genderism between men and women in the society which is totally unaccepted. 

You’ve mentioned and explained the points in both body paragraphs really well. Good effort. Try to avoid a few mistakes and you’ll be good for 7 bands.

All in all, it is remarkably noticeable that women abuse and genderism are serious problems that many advertisements nowadays suffer from.

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