Answer Checking

IELTS General Task 1 Correction: A Job Offer That can be Suitable.

Write a letter to your friend about a job offer that can be suitable for him/her and say

– Describe the job.

– What are the facilities available?

– Why is this job suitable for him/her?

20 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Dear John,

Hope I hope you are doing well. As you mentioned in our last conversation that you were looking for a job, (1) I wish to inform that there is an opening for a computer programmer in my company. 

1. Please note that “the job does not exist because your friend mentioned it.” (As = Because. In this sentence.) “You wish to inform because your friend mentioned it.” Alternate sentence structure:

Since you informed me during our last conversation that you were looking for a job, I have found a perfect opportunity for you. My company is hiring computer engineers for a project.

The roles and responsibilities of this job are developing web applications and managing databases. Since you have completed Bachelor’s of Computer Applications, you would not find face any difficulty in doing this job.

Though the job vacancy is for fresher, the salary the selected candidate would get (2) is really handsome. They The company is (3) are paying accommodation and transport charges.(4) Every employee at my workplace is fully funded satisfactorily remunerated (5) by the company if there is a need of for medical care. I think you will not let pass such a profitable proposition.

2. Naturally, only the selected candidate will get the salary. No need to write this.

3. ‘They’ does not refer to any noun.

4. You can merge the two sentences: Though the job is for a fresher, the company is not only paying a handsome salary but also reimbursing for accommodation and transport.

5. Funded is used in the context of a startup or a project. Employees are never funded. They are paid or remunerated. The right words will fetch you more bands.

In addition, by working at this designation you will get a chance to polish (hone) your communication skills as you will have to communicate interact (6) with overseas clients. You will have the opportunity to work for American, British and German clients which will open channels for better employment. (7) Hands-on experience of software engineer with numerous computer languages such as Java and Python (8) will also help you in your further studies.

6. Avoid word repetition.

7. The idea can be better developed.

8. Hands-on is an adjective. It must be used with an activity (object) using prepositions WITH and IN. It can’t give the quality of a software engineer since it is not an activity.

Though the paragraphs are well written, there is scope for developing them better. For example, I have added a few computer languages in the previous paragraph. Similarly, naming the countries of clients and mentioning about channels for further employment will enrich your response.

This job will be turning point in your professional career and I insist you should seize (grab) this opportunity.

With love,

William.

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