Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: City Council Planning to Pull Down a Historic Building.

The city council is planning to pull down one of the historic buildings in your town because it does not have funds to renovate the structure. As a citizen, you do not want it to happen. Write a letter to the city council and say

What is the importance of the building?

Why should it be renovated?

Suggest a plan to raise funds and maintain the building in the future.

20 minutes, 150 words at least.

Answer:

Dear Sir,

I am Christine, a resident of Brisban, London (You’ll write your name at the bottom. No need here.). I am a resident of your city and I am writing inscribing (1) this missive (2) letter in to express my concern to regarding the idea of knocking down the building of old National Museum which is abandoned from for the last five years.

1. I don’t think INSCRIBING is the right word. When someone gifts you a book and write a not on the front page, that’s called INSCRIBING – this is usually informal. Or, when you engrave something in writing, that’s INSCRIBING. Please avoid using words that you do not understand 100%.

2. MISSIVE is an official letter. It refers to correspondence from one official to another or from one department to another.

The museum is a great source of local history and culture. Several people visit it everyday to have a look on at (3) the books and belongings of former writers and poets which are the main attractions of the place. Also, many students visit it as a part of their thesis and research. Hence, it is a place of immense significance to us.

3. SUGGESTION: I’m sure you’ve made a list of all the prepositions that I’ve corrected so far. If you’ve not done so, please do it today. Additionally, you can read the answers of other students and note down the preposition mistakes they’ve committed. Just read their answers in the Answer Correction section.

I think, despite (this is not the right preposition – connecting device) (4) the idea of demolition the building should be renovated and equipped with all the modern material and facilities along with maintaining its ethnic historic touch since it has a huge importance for the city people. (5) It is the heritage of our great forefathers and should be preserved for the future generations.  

4. The right preposition for connecting the two ideas – NOT demolition, BUT renovation – is INSTEAD OF. In think that instead of demolishing the precious structure, the city council should renovate it.

5. Alternately you can write the paragraph in THREE sentences. This will not only preserve the structure and artifacts for the city residents but also prove to be a source of revenue for the council by raising the ticket charges. Moreover, it is the heritage …… – Two reasons connected using not only but also construction.

I understand that finance is the a major deterrent in the way of renovation renovating the structure. I would like to suggest you to collect charity from the local people for this noble deed. They would be delighted to know about the cause of alms (ALMS refers to something given to the poor people. Wrong word.) see the building renovated and would donate money whole-heartedly (would make a generous contribution). For future maintenance, an entry ticket should be imposed to get financial assistance.

I hope you would consider the genuity (I’m not sure what this means.) of the matter and accept my request.

Your task 1 writing suffers from poor lexical resource (due to wrong use of words), sentence structuring issues. The ideas and explanation are fine. Grammar also seems fine.

Yours faithfully,

Christine flora

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