Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Tendency of Humans to Copy One Another.

The tendency of human beings to copy one another is increasing in popularity. Is this a positive or negative development? What can be done about it?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Imitating one another is an innate human tendency and is constantly proliferating around the world for the last two decades. Undoubtedly, it has been a topic of contestation (how is it a point of contestation? This is vague. You’ve written a word without conveying what exactly do you mean. This sentence does not convey any idea. Rather, it adds confusion.). However, I opine for in favor of this trends as it benefits the human race not only by increasing the accessibility of products to the unreachable places but also by providing the a cheaper version of various things goods and services.

The introduction is well-written. You’ve mentioned the reasons supporting your opinion. Just avoid the second sentence.

To commence with, the original works are not always in within the reach of each person. But its their (original works = plural) replica makes it possible to have a live physical experience of famous works. For instance, “Akshardham Temple”, originally based in Delhi, (1) is being (2) replicated in the USA so that the willing people living there can visit it without consuming much time and efforts. Thus, though some products are patented (passive voice) and copying these is illegal, it is of immense benefits to the society.

1.” Originally based in Delhi” is not a part of the main sentence. The main sentence is “A.T is replicated in the USA …..“. “Originally based in Delhi” is giving additional information about A.T. Hence, it is a modifier.

2. The entire sentence is in the present tense. Using ‘replicated’ alone make it past. Maintain the same tense by converting replicated to being replicated (passive voice – present tense).

Moreover, copying the formulations of some medicines helps to create a pocket-friendly an affordable (use the most appropriate words to increase the lexical resource score.) version of these and can save the life lives of many people who cannot afford original costly medicines. (3) For instance, a report of by the World Health Organization who reveals that replicated drugs produced in India for the cure of cancer have saved life the lives of millions of people who could not afford the expensive ones.

3. Restructure the sentence to create a better sentence. Note that in the following sentence I’ve created cohesion using “SINCE X and Y, Z” construction. Moreover, I’ve mentioned ‘patented medicined‘ only once and then used them, their to refer back.

Since the patented medicines are extremely costly and most of the patients can not afford them, it is important to copy their formulations and manufacture affordable versions.

However, this trend needs to be regulated under stringent laws as excessive copying may prevent the talented individuals from experimenting with new products in despair of getting it replicated by others which would be a great loss for the humanity and posterity(Though you’ve carried the idea well in a long sentence, I recommend breaking it into three sentences.) They may fear that their efforts and investment will go waste if someone copies them without paying any royalty (I’ve explained ‘REPLICATED’ in detail). Suppressing the spirit of these innovators will be a great loss for the future of humanity.

A PIECE OF WISDOM: IELTS wants you to write complex sentences. However, it also wants you to sufficiently explain the things (‘EFFORTS, INVESTMENT, ROYALTY’ are better than just writing ‘REPLICATED’). If you club the ideas of three sentences into one, you will achieve the former but compromise the latter. You have to achieve both.

In conclusion, copying certain essential things can prove to be a boon for the society. But the governments should be vigilant about these replications and its limits should be set to avoid any misuse.

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