Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: The Best Way to Overcome Stress – 2.

Some physiologists recommend that it is important to overcome stresses by spending time doing nothing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Relaxing is highly recommended to tackle stress, according to physiologists. I think it is one among many other methods such as playing sports using which a person can relieve his stress. (Making a mention of other methods will make the introduction better)

It is very vital for our bodies and brain to have a couple of hours of relaxation after a long, stressful day‘s work. As the average working hours are increasing worldwide, people have become more vulnerable because of the mounting stress they encounter in their work. Curling up in a coach or lying in the bed with the brain switched off (the brain can’t be switched off. Please avoid such words as these show that you lack lexical resources to choose an appropriate word) helps the brain to get rid of the accumulating fatigue/ stress/ exertion negative energy. Consequently, people can continue their daily life with more spirit and energy energized. 

Good attempt. The idea sentence is clear and the explanation is precise and sufficient. However, there are areas of improvement mostly related to lexical resources.

However, there are as equally important effective (lexical resource – a better choice of words) methods to relieve the stress as relaxing (relaxing = relieve the stress). Doing physical activities such as sports is one example. This way is proven to stimulate the brain to release by releasing a hormone called dopamine (connect the two sentences). Which which is responsible for the level of happiness (The previous three sentences can be connected to write one sentence without losing any sense. Do not begin a sentence with WHICH). Another effective way to mitigate the stress is to have strong social relationships. Being with others gives no chance for a person to be alone and think of his problems and issues. Which This (Do not begin a sentence with WHICH. Replace it with THIS.) reduces the possibility of getting stressed. Finally, adopting a healthy diet is very important to lessen the stress factors. As a recent research shows, health problems are the main driver for of stress in people’s life. Having healthy food helps to have maintain a fit and strong body (to keep a body fit and strong). Which which in turns de-escalates the anxiety and stress in people. 

You’ve strongly developed the arguments for the three alternatives.

To conclude, relaxing is a powerful way to handle stress in addition to other equally important ones. The conclusion is too short. To conclude, while relaxing and doing nothing is a powerful way to reduce stress, playing sports, developing strong social relationships and eating a healthy diet are equally important in this endeavor. (refers back to ‘reduce stress’) (Note parallelism – playing, developing and eating.)

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