Answer Checking

IELTS General Task 1 Correction: City Council Planning to Pull Down a Historic Building.

The city council is planning to pull down one of the historic buildings in your town because it does not have funds to renovate the structure. As a citizen, you do not want it to happen. Write a letter to the city council and say

What is the importance of the building?

Why should it be renovated?

Suggest a plan to raise funds and maintain the building in the future.

20 minutes, 150 words at least.

Answer:

Dear Sir,

This letter is in the reference and a plea of for not demolishing the traditional museum because people are emotionally connected with it.

This multi-story structure exhibits many stories of the people who contributed lots of efforts in making our city an industrial hub of the country. Many traders who visit our city for magnificent and fascinating trade business opportunities are often left overwhelmed after observing such a rich industrial heritage in this building. (Industrial heritage idea is well-developed. Good job!)

Instead of removing, (1) it should be reconstructed (since it has not been demolished, you can renovate it. Can’t reconstruct.) renovated because of two main reasons. Firstly, children will be deprived in of knowing about the heroes of our town. (Explain) They will never know the sacrifices and endeavors of those who established this prosperous town. Secondly, people are losing interests due to the deteriorating state of the structure, t . Though, we have so many malls but this is the only place where the decade’s old industrial development is being exhibited. (2)

1. This is a modifier that refers to a noun/ pronoun. “Instead of removing” means somebody is planning to remove it. However, the pronoun IT refers to the building. This means that the building is planning to remove itself. Weird. Isn’t it? Instead of demolishing the structure the administration should renovate it because of two reasons.

2. The idea is not clear. What is your point – people losing interest OR only place where industrial development is exhibited? Stick to one and EXPLAIN it. Develop the idea. Secondly, the city is losing ticket revenue because fewer people visit the building due to its crumbling infrastructure. Youngsters prefer malls since they are air-conditioned. I request you to renovate the building to increase the ticket revenue.

Authorities should run advertisements on the social media to raise funds for reinventing renovating it. Unlike a newspaper, everybody is on the whatsapp and facebook , and the voice will be heard by almost all residents immediately many at a faster pace. In addition, the building should be made a tourist attraction and entry fee should be imposed to support its maintainence in the coming time. 

NOTE that renovating is different from reinventing or reconstructing. Wrong use of words only to show your extensive vocabulary may land you in trouble. Wrong use of words changes the meaning of a sentence.

I assert that many people will contribute.

Yours sincerely ,

M.J

Follow this blog and like our Facebook page to learn exciting new essays and cue cards. You can contact me HERE.

Please subscribe to my Youtube Channel.

Contact me for writing polished and effective Statement of Purpose.

Contact me for Editing Services and Document Writing Services.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s