Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: New Technology is Improving the Lives of Workers – 4.

Some people think that new technology is improving the lives of workers, others say it has more disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

The latest breakthroughs (the internet and computer) (1) in the field of science and technology have transformed the lives of people at the workplace. Although it is believed by many people that technological advancements have more demerits for workers as manual jobs have been taken over by machines, I believe that new technology plays a significant role in making workers life more comfortable and enabling them to travel less. (Wonderful!)

1. Let us not restrict technology to internet and computer. You can choose to EXPLAIN on the internet and computers only. However, this should not be done in the introduction.

As many argue, the latest developments in technology are leading to an increase in the unemployment rate. The jobs which were carried out by people, especially in the manufacturing sector, have been taken over by robots. For example, usage of robots by Maruti Suzuki corporation to manufacture cars has led to the loss of employment for 5000 employees (workers). From this point of view, it is clear that technology does have some disadvantages for blue-collared workers(No problem with the last sentence. However, this sentence does not convey any new information. If you remove this sentence, your ideas for view 1 are restricted to THREE sentences only. That’s inadequate. Please write another idea. TWO more sentences will be sufficient.)

Moreover, the use of the latest technologies has made work sedentary in nature. Most workers now do their job in an office and this is leading to several health issues such as blood pressure and diabetes.

However, I support those who claim that technology is improving the quality of life of workers and has more advantages than its disadvantages. For instance, with the help of telecommuting, people can work from the comforts of their homes. Millions of professionals, specifically from the I.T. field, bear enjoy the fruits (bear the fruit = to produce fruit) of this development. Apart from this, workers are no longer required to travel long distances or visit overseas, the way they had to in previous decades, in order to attend business meetings. They can do so communicate with clients, vendors, and suppliers with the help of video conferencing.  Thus, technology is making the workers life convenient and less troublesome as they need not to travel to be in official meetings or to get out of their homes(Both points are for official purposes, I guess.)

Idea 1 is well developed. Idea 2 could have been better developed by writing more specifically.

In conclusion, while some feel that new technology has resulted in a loss of employment and has many disadvantages, I opine that technology has positive implications as it is making professionals’ life lives easier and comfortable.

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