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Cue Card Speaking Correction: An Animal You Like.

Talk about an animal that you like. Please say

– What is it?
– When and where did you see it for the first time?
– Why do you like it?

Answer:

Student’s response and transcript:

Invest one minute in brainstorming about this topic’s questions. If you’ve not read my advice on developing each answer in a proper way, please read the lesson on speaking.

PLUS, you can implement the idea of collocations in this answer. Here is the link to a truly useful article: Lessons in speaking – collocations.

Transcript:

Well, animals are an important part of our ecosystem (the opening statement is good). Here I would like to talk about my favorite animal, that is Bengal (avoid repetitions) Bengal Tiger. However, (wrong connecting device. Try WHILE construction.) While all animals are very beautiful and are important for us, I want to talk about Bengal tigress specially especially because it is our national animal and it is very beautiful animal to see (You’ve already used very beautiful in the sentence. Use some other word – majestic) and there are various exciting characteristics specifications (I don’t think animals have specifications. They have characteristics. Wrong word choice.) of this animal. 

NOTE: I’ve used ‘exciting characteristics’ – that’s a collocation.

I first time saw this animal when I went there (where? Please mention the place.) to West Bengal with other students when I was doing my graduation in university. My teachers organized a tour to Bengal this place where I got a chance to see various terrestrial and aquatic animals. There were breathtaking picturesque waterbodies (what? Name something. Picturesque is an adjective. It needs a noun.) and various kinds of vegetation. So when I first time saw this Bengal tiger there and, I was just astonished after watching it (= when I first saw).

It was a beautiful creature. The color of the animal was reddish brown and there were black colored stripes on the skin (well said.). So it was looking exquisite (You’ve already conveyed this idea in the opening sentence – beautiful creature.). I was really impressed from with the animal. (The response to the THIRD question is inadequate.)

Structure the response for the third part:

Why did you like it? 1. Huge, majestic. 2. shining reddish-brown skin, black colored stripes. 3. Infuses terror and respect in the mind of all viewers. 4. Powerful roar. 5. Great speed to catch its prey. 

It is a carnivorous animal and the government has put a lot of time and efforts to save these animals this animal (it = singular) because this animal it is on the verge of extinction. Because it is our national animal so (do not use SO with because) it is our responsibility to save it. Although the government has put a lot of efforts to save it, we also have some responsibility coz (do not use informal language) hunting habit of some people is a threat to the existence of these animals. (The closing is too long. Focus more on the questions asked and less on closing.)

Hire my services for cue card checking.

 

 

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