Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Sports Important for a Nation’s Development.

Some people say that sport is very important for a nation’s development. Others think that sport is no more than a leisure time activity. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Games and sports are crucial for the holistic development of an individual as they not only instrumental in attaining fitness but also helpful in teaching valuable lessons of strategy development, teamwork, and hard work. While some people opine that sport is just a spare time activity (better to mention the reasons behind this view. You’ve done this wonderfully for the previous view.), I believe it plays a significant role in fostering the development of a nation.

Some people believe that they are just a leisure time activity as they do not contribute to economic development. I believe ……

In many people’s perception, sport is merely a fun activity. As these individuals have mostly little or no interest in competitive sports, they consider games as physical exercises which are performed to maintain health and fitness or to get relaxation and to unwind worries. They also assert that these activities have no connection with the growth of a nation. (Yes, but how? Remember, this is not a new point but an extension of the earlier point. However, the use of ‘they also assert‘ shows that this is a new point. … unwind worries. Thus, sports are merely meant to rejuvenate after hard economic work so that a person can keep working regularly with energy. They do not make any meaningful economic contribution to the country.) Therefore, in their opinion, any effort made to improve sports infrastructure in a country is futile. (You can comfortably avoid this sentence since the question is not on sports infrastructure.)

However, I support those who claim that sport is vital for a nation’s development. When athletes bring laurels to a country, most citizens of that country feel proud of these achievements. This develops patriotism and brotherhood among citizens which are crucial for economic growth, happiness, and social justice in a country. (How are patriotism and brotherhood important for the development of a country?) For example, in 2018 Asian Games, when Manjit Singh won a gold medal in the 800 meter race, Indians were delighted and cherished at this achievement regardless of their backgrounds. This type of celebration is vital in a country like India that is diverse in religion, caste, colour and so on (How exactly did this contribute to the development of India? This type of celebration is important for unity and integrity in a religiously and racially diverse country like India. This helps in the social development of the country.). Thus, sports has have a paramount importance in the social development of a country.

In conclusion, although some people argue that sport is an activity to have fun and maintain fitness, I believe it is essential in a country’s development as it forges (promotes) fraternity and nationalism.

You’ve written well. Sentence structure and grammar are good. Cohesion and coherence are also fine. However, there is scope for better development of arguments.

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