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ISLPR Letter: Children Should Get More Exercise.

The government has said that children should be getting more exercise and so you are planning to take your class out into the playground for half an hour every day for physical education. Write a short note to the children’s parents to explain what you are doing and what you want them to ensure that their children are ready for this activity.

Write about 150 words.

Answer:

Dear parents, 

Re:  Physical Education Class

Research has proved that exercise and sports not only increase strength in muscles and bones of the children but also improve their concentration and enhance academic scores achievement (Logically, you can’t improve achievement. Your sentence = improve their concentration and improve academic achievement.). Since our government considers to include is encouraging more physical activities in the daily routine (routine includes daily) of all the preschools, I have decided (present tense) to take all the children of our preschool in the playground for half an hour for different activities each day.

Despite a few mistakes, the introductory paragraph is well written.

The session will start at 10 am after the morning tea every day. Teachers and children will start together with a quick run around the playground followed by some warm-up exercises. I have planned different activities such as different games with a softball, dancing, aerobics, jumping, climbing, and obstacle course activities to help children develop some gross and fine motor skills (different games with a ball violates parallelism. Different is an adjective while all other activities are nouns.). These sport (not all are sport) activities will also help children to develop social skills and encourage them to initiate friendships by engaging in teamwork to achieve goals sports. Consequently, (I can’t see this sentence as a consequence or a result of the previous sentence) they will learn skills such as turn taking, sharing, and cooperation.

This physical education class is going to be fun with learning. sports and musical games easily involved children as they are so much fun. Moreover, they are good for mental health and cognition of children. For instance, children can learn numbers through a hopscotch along with play.  (I think you’ve overexplained what you plan to do. You have written more than 240 words in this answer. You can comfortably avoid these words. Remember, writing more not only consumes more time but also carries the risk of reducing your score. You may make more mistakes and lose the chance to revise.)

I request you to ensure that your child eats a healthy breakfast before he/she (use any one pronoun to refer to both genders. She is better.) comes to preschool. Also, please send some active wears activewear, sports shoes and a drink water bottle (violates parallelism. SOME is an adjective, sports is a noun, a is an adjective. Prefer nouns – activewear, sports, water.) with your child. Any queries will be responded promptly. (please write a complete sentence. Moreover, your sentence seems too cold. Make it warm.) Please feel free to ask me any query and I will respond as soon as possible.

Thanks in anticipation(anticipation of what? That the parents will send the child or not? Why say thanks if you are anticipating? Seems weird.)

I deeply appreciate your cooperation.

Ginni

Abc edukids.

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